Wanting

 I want someone who... 

• is driven on his own yet supportive of others and their pursuits
• is self-aware yet not self-absorbed
• is well-read and can intelligently discuss literature, politics, religion, and the math and science topics that fascinate me (Bookish people are able to build entire worlds in their minds!)
• is open to my influence and suggestions on topics that I may be more knowledgeable
• can teach and train others
• uses both skills and tools to keep daily routine manageable
• wakes up wanting to connect with me since the sleeping hours have separated us for hours
• has a history and eduaction comparable to my own
• can recognize when a time-out in a conflict can help - and makes sure to solidify the plan to revisit the issue so that my abandonment issues do not get the best of me
• can be goofy/silly and let me be the same
• is soft witn an edge
• is not afraid of a little adventure and a little "unknown"
• wants an actual (equal) partner - not a subordinate or a boss
• respectfully questions my thought process when I veer off path from my actual intent (seeking to understand)
• has his own interests that do not conflict with his values or my values
• is a gentle person with the ability (but tnot the inclination) to use hidden strength/power (think the martial arts master who is not "showy" about those skills)
• makes me feel seen
• I want the Gomez to my Morticia. 

Reconnection

12/22/2025

After several years of silence of a couple of years, I spoke with a friend on the phone recently. 

He and his wife have spent years in therapy, mostly finding ways for my friend to bend and stretch  (and compromise) because the will of his wife demands it. 

I know that I do not know all the dynamics within their relationship, but I do know this man well. We met in 1998, and we've been pretty solid fixtures in each other's lives over decades. He's so much like me it's sometimes scary, and I know he's in hell right now. 

I know my role is to help support him through this major change in his llife. I just hope he lets me. 

4/29/2026

Today, this friend told me the following regarding my worry about another friend who is making some mistakes in his life:

"You are allowed to exist without supplying everyone in your orbit value at every moment."

I am so glad E and I talk often. He is getting ready for legal battles, and he seems aware that I am forever in his corner.