I tried to explain to Jeremy the things I've learned about myself over the last few months. He seemed to catch a glimpse of all of the emotional stuff that has been looming over me.
He commented that it has taken three, possibly four, people to replace Mike in my life. I started to argue with him, but I realized he is right. I am opening up more to Jeremy, which is bringing us closer together (which is the point when you are planning to marry someone, right?). Joe and I have been hanging out more. We meet for drinks and talk about life while listening to music. Carrie has been around a lot lately. We are getting in good discussion time that helps to sort out all of life's crazy situations and emotions. Jessy has been playing his guitar and singing for me after school while I am grading papers...
...and Jeremy couldn't be happier. He admitted today that he has never been able to put up with Mike. He always felt like Mike got in the way. I agree. Mike has always been one to interrupt the flow of my relationship with Jeremy, but we've never been able to sit down and discuss that before.
I still miss hanging out with Mike, but I realize that he served in a capacity that made me incredibly dependent upon him. That is simply unhealthy, although many might argue another side to the situation.
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