Saturday, October 28, 2006

Just another 'Oh, poor me' post

Self-indulgent whining.

I am frustrated this evening.

I am becoming ill. I feel it in my sinuses. I feel in my shoulders. I feel it in my shins. Time is not on my side. I had to make a mad dash to te post office this morning because we didn't have any stamps left. Jeremy only gets called into work one day a week, and he had said that he would buy stamps a couple of weeks ago (he has used every last one of mine). Unfortunately, he did not make good on this promise and I had to get things in the mail today, which meant I had to pull myself together with all of the housecleaning and laundry and drive all over creation to get where I needed.

I stopped by the store on my way to buy a couple of items that Jeremy had already used throughout the week, despite the fact that he has a freezer full of chicken and turkey. Sometimes, I don't think he cares that I buy things for me, too. I usually pick up the tab for groceries (he never seems to have money after his loan payment), and he eats the majority of the food. He uses everything I NEED for my lunches, and neglects the items I buy for him. I cannot eat these items, as I am a vegetarian.

I am not made of money. I took a pay cut to move to this side of the state, and he just keeps finding ways for me to use all of my cash. Shelves. Food. Storage bins because he can't afford a dresser yet. Food. Toiletries. Food. A bike so he won't have to ride alone. More food.

I have nothing to eat for dinner - at least none of the stuff I purchased for myself. I am determined to not order anything, so I think I will be eating corn and broccoli with a side of cereal with milk I hope has not yet turned (the expiration date was a couple of days ago).

Jeremy offered to make enchiladas (I fucking HATE enchilada sauce - which I tell him every time he wants me to buy it). I'm sure he will use all of the cheddar. He doesn't seem to know how to make proper portions with anything.

I considered labeling all of my food, but wouldn't that make me a total bitch?

We went to the hardware store to buy weather stripping for our front door. Guess who paid? Guess who drove? Guess who always drives?

Oh, and his food is almost ready. He just offered to go pick up a pizza or something for me when he is done eating.

He hasn't been like this in a long time...what is going on?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Cider Mills, old friends and memories

Jeremy and I spent the afternoon with a good friend of his - Nathan. Nathan is a pilot and was on the second-to-last leg of his trip back to Houston, Texas. Nathan and Jeremy go way back - their families are close friends, and have been since before they had children, some thirty years ago. Nathan wanted to go to Franklin Cider Mill, an annual tradition his family kept until 1992 when they moved to Florida. I don't think he could have been happier visiting his old stomping grounds. The drizzle wasn't going to get in our way. We had donuts and cider. I haven't had a donut in almost a year, and it was a welcomed treat.

I told myself to get to bed early tonight, but I cannot seem to turn off the baseball game and march upstairs.

Something about tonight takes me back. I don't know if it is the weather or just the time of year. Perhaps it is the act of visiting a cider mill and drinking cider. In any case, I feel linked to nights years back, when Jeremy and I were both still in college. I used to call him late at night. I'd pick him up and take him back to my place. His roommates were convinced these calls were booty calls, and no matter how much Jeremy tried to explained that it wasn't like that, they just didn't seem to want to believe that two able-bodied college students could have the self-control to not have sex. I loved spending the night next to him. There was always something so comforting about feeling him breathe while he lay next to me. The neighbors would burn leaves outside, and I would cuddle up next to Jeremy - content. We slept in my little twin bed, arms tangled under blankets. We have a bigger bed now, with more blankets and pillows, but we still sleep tangled together, warm and content.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

updating a boring life

Autumn visited today. It was nice to actually have a conversation with her - we've really never done that at length. We normally don't see eye-to-eye on anything, and our lives haven't traveled in the same direction.

I wonder if others encounter the same distance in their relationships with siblings. I think she sees me as the person I used to be. We didn't spend any time together while I was in college, or after I graduated - for that matter. Those were my formative years. I spent my teen years uncomfortable and awkward. I was itching to leave, and when I did, I was finally able to figure out how I fit into the world.

One of my cats started "talking" to her. Up till now, this particular cat has only talked to Jeremy and me. This cat is the smarter of the two, and I think Autumn and I must smell or sound similar or something like that. Natalie seemed to know that it would be okay to talk to this person she has seen only once or twice before.


Jeremy is out for the evening. A close friend of his is up from Texas, so he decided to get catch up. I thought I would go to bed early, but I found all this energy to do some research, write and watch a little TV.

I didn't grade any papers today. I need to finish everything by noon tomorrow. Jeremy, Nathan and I are going to a cider mill. I haven't been to one in so long...I am excited.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

strange brew

No...this post has nothing to do with a movie.
I just feel odd today. I became severely dehydrated today at work. I lost partial vision in my right eye. I have experienced this before, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. My students in fifth hour were absolutely wonderful. They kept refilling my water bottle for me and they stayed quiet the entire class period - which is uncommon. When I got home, I created a really tastey concoction to hydrate myself quickly. Perhaps I will post the recipe soon.

The end of the first quarter is quickly approaching, and I couldn't be happier.
My students seem to be raising their grades without much prompting from me.
I have a lot of energy today - that might be due to the new vitamins I am taking.
I feel healthy.
Today is the first day my shoulder and neck haven't been killing me.
I worked.
I spoke to a parent.
I spent time with Jeremy before he left for St. Louis (he'll be training until Friday).
I ate a healthy dinner and two healthy snacks today.
I attended my class in Dearborn, which is always great.
I cleaned the bathroom.
I cleaned my bedroom.
I did two loads of laundry.
I graded papers.
I planned tomorrow's activities.
I organized several binders to show my students how to complete a project.
I did the dishes.
I had a department meeting.
And my two former professors sent my recommendation letters.

Busy day. Good day.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Running behind

I have never before felt like time was moving so quickly. I am in constant pain - my shoulder and neck have been aching for over a week now, I feel depressed because I have no time to enjoy life (although yesterday I went to a ukulele class, which was lovely), I am arguing with Jeremy about things that don't really matter, and I cannot seem to get my students' papers graded, entered into the gradebook and returned in a timely fashion.

I was planning on riding my bike this morning, but it has yet to happen.

Big things I need to do by Wednesday of this week:

Resubmit my grad school app to one school with a revised start date (Jan. 2007)
Decide on my new living room furniture so that I can start saving for that
Clean my townhouse
Get a library card
do my lesson plans for the next two weeks (preferably with high-energy, interactive activities)
complete grading
contact parents of failing students
meet with my mentor
study for the MTTC
continue studying for the GRE (I want to get a higher score)
go to my evening class
Exercise for at least one hour each day
go grocery shopping
unpack three more boxes from the basement
visit with my parents
write Meredith and Katie (former neighbors from Florida) a letter
make a dentist appointment
make a doctor's appointment (hopefully, he will tell me to get massages weekly - but I really don't like being touched, especially by strangers)
wash my car before it gets even cooler
Call Diana
Call Becky
Call Melissa
Call Maureen
Call Brendan and invite him and Amanda over
Call Nathan
Keep bugging Jeremy to set up a savings account and start depositing into a 401K
Contact a financial person for myself to continue depositing into a 403B

Friday, October 06, 2006

Someone Gone

You were in my thoughts.
I could have used your jokes today.
I miss you.

Monday, October 02, 2006

School safety

I have been on my boss's case about pulling together a practice code red drill at my school. I have been telling her since before the school year began that we need to have procedures in place. We recently got to the point that I raised my voice to her that she has not provided a safe environment for her students and staff.

She has been repeating that violence like what's been happening elsewhere (Canada, Colorado, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin) "won't happen here." I have not been accepting that easily. She didn't want to run a drill because it was too much to worry about. In addition, she does not even require exterior doors be closed throughout the day.

The local police departments have just ordered her to do several practice drills this week. I was going to speak to our union rep tomorrow to discuss my concerns with inadequate safety.

Who knew that I would be taking my life in my hands by teaching in a high school?