Monday, December 31, 2007

Resolutions

Now is the time that we arbitrarily assign to making new goals and resolutions about how we have been living our lives. Is it cliche for me to have resolutions again this year? I decided to look at my list for 2007. Let's have a look here:

1. Limit alcohol consumption to one to two drinks per month.

To be honest, I have cut back on drinking overall, but I have had a few moments of heavy drinking. Everyone at James' party, Mike A., Jeremy, and Mike V. have seen the "fun" Lish during this times.

2. No fast food, not even when pressed for time.

Okay, so I still went to Subway (and yes, McDonald's several times).

3. No pizza, unless I make organic homemade pizza. (I will miss you, Jet's Pizza!)

That one didn't last, although I did make a lot more homemade pizza.

4. A minimum of thirty minutes of cardio every day.

That one last for a long time. I don't know what stopped me. I was losing weight and feeling great (pardon the annoying rhyme).

5. Count calories daily. Limit for first month = 1600, second month = 1500, third month = 1350...we'll see beyond that.

I did count calories for the better part of the year. I lost track during the holiday season, though.


6. Follow a daily chore schedule for each room in my home.


Yeah, that one didn't work out well. Jeremy's schedule is chaotic, at best, and grad school work took up almost all of my time.


7. Read at least two books (novels, biographies, etc.) each month.


I read a lot - just not that much. Maybe that should have been a goal for the summer only.

8. Do yoga three times per week.

I stopped within a month.

9. Join a music ensemble - I think Canton is looking at its newest percussionist.

I am thriving in the band. I LOVE it! I will continue this year. I scheduled grad school and other commitments around it.


10. Go to my doctor's regularly - dentist, regular physician, urologist (for my kindey stone problem), dietician, OB-GYN (to be honest, I am still holding off on this one).


I started going to the dentist regularly. I have an appointment on January 8th. I haven't been to any other doctors, though. My fear of the doctor borders on phobia-status. If I could list my urologist in Battle Creek as my primary care physician, I would travel to see him. He is a great doctor AND I used to teach at St. Philip with his wife. Their daughter was one of my journalism students years ago. Unfortunately, I have to have a "local" doctor.

_________________________________________________________

So what are my resolutions for this year?


1. Organize and decorate my ENTIRE home. I am tired of treating my townhouse as a temporary living situation. We currently are not in transition - this is our home. We need to make it look like a home.


2. Live healthier. That means: eating healthy food, counting calories, creating an exercise routine (preferably at Lifetime Fitness), managing stress positively, reduce or eliminate "excessive" behaviors in regard to food and alcohol, get out and enjoy life more (go dancing, traveling, etc.)

3. Learn one or two instruments (I am already doing well with my new tenor ukulele - the strings are tuned just like my soprano uke). I want to learn the harmonica (Jeremy bought me one for Christmas). I bought myself a drum set, but I already know the basics. I am thinking that, over the summer, I could start learning violin or something - maybe flute. Maybe I will even get voice lessons.

4. Clean my home more frequently.

5. Write more. I have just about abandoned journal writing - I've been posting more online, anyway.

6. Get married! I am addressing the planning stuff a lot lately. Lack of money is cutting my guest list significantly. Sorry, folks. Some of my cousins won't even be invited!

7. Play my ukulele in public - not school. I am not afraid of students.

8. Go to Germany.

9. Find and buy a house with some property, preferably out in the middle of nowhere.

10. Stop living so much in my head!

Friday, December 28, 2007

111

111. I don't think I could love my cats more even if they were my own children.

112. I love taking naps. I've taken a nap many times during this vacation.

113. I wear size 9 shoes.

114. I used to collect stamps. Yeah, I'm a loser.

115. I will be spending the $23.00 for each season of The X-Files tomorrow at Best Buy, and I am not ashamed. It's a deal!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

102 - 110

102. I still get butterflies-in-the-stomach-type feelings.

103. Mike V. and I are on the same wave length most of the time. Oh, look! He just left me a message! Cool!

104. I don't believe I've ever kissed someone under the mistletoe.

105. I finished ALL of my Christmas shopping today - in less than three hours! I have spent a little over $500. this year.

106. I want to cut my hair. I don't think I'll be donating my hair this year.

107. I played my ukulele during passing time at work on Friday.

108. I brought my decorations up from the basement, but I have very little drive to actually unpack and display them.

109. I love when Jeremy runs his fingers through my hair. This is the only way for me to truly relax. Nothing else works. Not even alcohol.

110. I dislike buying into the commercialism that surrounds Christmas. I would prefer to not give or receive any gifts. I'd like to spend Christmas day in church.

Monday, December 17, 2007

94 - 101

94. I finally finished all of my papers for my grad class. And I have a snow day tomorrow. And I have to turn in my papers. And I want to spend the day cleaning.

95. I'm ticklish in only a few places.

96. Jeremy bought me chocolate today. And shoveled all around our place and our cars. And cuddled with me. And goofed around with me in the kitchen. And kissed me. And gave me quiet time so that I could finish my homework. And has been a total sweetheart lately. This is who I remember falling in love with. I missed him.

97. I felt empowered while putting my aunt in her place on Saturday.

98. I like sock monkeys.

99. I am taking two classes next term; I am so nervous.

100. I still haven't done any Christmas shopping. I think tomorrow will be a busy day!

101. I don't think I will stop with 101. I have so much more to reveal. Just not tonight. I should get some sleep.

93

93. I sometimes wish we were stranded on an island together...all alone...forever. I'd have you all to myself.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

92...Kenny v. Spenny

92. Despite how disgusting and juvenile Kenny v. Spenny is, I find the show frickin hilarious! I almost threw up a few minutes ago watching the meat-eating competition/vomitfest.

What does everyone else think of the show?

87 - 91

87. I love playing with blankets with my toes.

88. I used to enjoy working at Payless, even though I don't like to look at feet.

89. Sometimes I want to return to mindless employment.

90. My professor granted me an extension on my final papers. I am so happy.

91. Jeremy made me a really nice dinner tonight. It was so wonderful and sweet.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

66 - 86

66. I can't seem to get my papers done this week. They are due by 5 PM on Friday. I waited too long to get started, and I feel like a complete failure. I am tempted to buy a paper. I won't, though. I find that completely unethical. Nevertheless, I am tempted. I'd rather get a terrible grade and get booted out of grad school than cheat.

67. I started eating chocolate-covered espresso beans again. My students noticed a difference in my behavior today.

68. I don't get a hoot about literary theory. I want the master's in literature so that I know literature!

69. I have some really wonderful students this year.

70. I have never taken illegal drugs, and I am still proud of myself.

71. I want to drink all the time lately.

72. I don't believe I will be getting the 8-string tenor ukulele I want for Christmas. And I could almost cry about it.

73. I was able to eat mushrooms in a sandwich and on a pizza recently. I did not vomit either time. I've never before been able to stomach mushrooms.

74. I have strong, yet hideous, toes. I'd love to show off their strength, but I'd be afraid to have people see my crooked foot digits.

75. I've started praying every night before bed...not be attacked by demons. Apparently, I believe...at least for now.

76. Sometimes I am angry at God for not making me special enough to have demons fighting over my soul.

77. I'd rather be in a boring, loveless marriage than a series of short, passionate relationships.

78. I realize when I say things like what I said in #77, people think I am unhappy in my current relationship. I am actually quite content.

79. I have been ashamed to ride in Jeremy's last three cars (one was always breaking down, one was louder than any other car I had ever been near, and the current one is falling apart...slowly).

80. I named Jeremy's current car 'The Red Dragon.'

81. I might go to Midnight Mass this year.

82. I love broad-shouldered men. I am so lucky Jeremy has broad shoulders. And dark brown hair. And two distinct eye brows. And green eyes. And big teeth. And high cheek bones. And a great sense of humor (which none of my old friends usually get to witness - he is a bit uncomfortable around some of my friends). And a great memory. And a NOT-so-hairy chest (I'm NOT into the whole Tom Selleck look at all!). And cute ears.

83. Jeremy just burped a "Hi" and a "Hello". I have the classiest fiance ever!

84. I organized every item in my teacher desk today, right down to color-coding paper clips and post-it notes. I should post a photo of this craziness!

85. I am dehydrated again.

86. If I am still in my MA program next semester, I will be a much better student. I will cancel Comcast if I have to.

Monday, December 10, 2007

52 and onward

52. I like to pretend I am a foreigner in stores.

53. I find Harvey Keitel very sexy in the movie The Piano.

54. I procrastinate more than I used to.

55. I have a recurring dream that I lose my teeth. I have had this dream since I was six or seven years old. It is just as disturbing as when I started having the dream.

56. I LOVE new office supplies.

57. I never intended to stay in my current line of work.

58. I don't think I truly care about grad school.

59. I have been sexually harassed at work. I no longer teach at the school - the superintendent refused to fire the man even though he admitted to harassing two women on staff that year.

60. I was stalked by a coke-head when I lived in Florida. He went to prison on drug possession charges, and I changed my number, packed my stuff, and moved back to Michigan before he was released.

61. I adore scarves. I want to have at least twenty on hand so that I can coordinate fabrics, colors, and textures on a daily basis.

62. It's my fault my cats are so emotionally needy.

63. I want to get the edge of my tongue pierced...or possibly get the corner of my lower lip pierced.

64. I want to dye my hair bright purple or cobalt blue. My job really doesn't allow for me to do that. I want to get out of K-12 mostly for that reason.

65. Lately, I like playing the ukulele more than I like playing the drums - or the piano, for that matter.

Monday, December 03, 2007

About Me (Again)

51. I am better with alcohol. I cannot deny that I like who I truly am when drinking.

Oh, and James, I think you are very wise. Thank you for engaging in such an interesting and honest dialogue tonight. That is definitely food-for-thought.

Friday, November 30, 2007

About Me

I noticed Joe had posted lists with random information about himself. Several other friends have been doing the same thing lately. I, too, have one. It's been saved as a draft for some time as I compiled more and more information that I felt I should share. I moved some things around to give the sense of continuity, although I am not sure how that really comes across in a list.

I'll start with fifty and see where that leads.


1. I am almost always day-dreaming. I prefer to live in the world inside my head, where second chances are possible and anger is never real or lasting.

2. I am glad that I attended self-defense workshop classes my first semester in college. I never thought that I would ever have to use the techniques we discussed and practiced.

3. I don't hate Jim for what he tried to do to me.

4. I understand what it is to feel alive.

5. I remember everything - how others looked at me, how I felt, how awful I was.

6. I miss my dog and still cry frequently over that loss.

7. My heart has been truly and completely broken twice. Both times, I allowed for it to be mended by the people who had broken it.

8. I don't like a lot of physical contact. On the other hand, I am openly affectionate with certain people with no problem.

9. I have become aware of some of my incredibly anti-social behaviors, as well as behaviors that my doctors (as a child) said could indicate a mild form of autism. I am not autistic. I just don't care to interact with people sometimes.

10. I understand why parents are afraid of the stigma of declaring learning disabilities and deficiencies.

11. I have serious trust and abandonment issues that stem from my childhood. I can pinpoint what I now believe to be the root of these issues, but I don't seek help. I will never seek help.

12. I started having depressing and a few random suicidal thoughts again within the last five months. While I wouldn't commit suicide, I fantasize about having some control over my passing.

13. I am becoming a much more devout Catholic. I had to experience pagan religions and shun the church for a while to get here.

14. I started praying again at night before I go to sleep.

15. I chickened out of sending in one of my secrets to PostSecret. I was afraid someone would know it was me.

16. When I look at electrical outlets, I always see faces in the design. I used to imagine they were screaming.

17. I miss going driving as an outing.

18. I love picnics, complete with the perfectly-prepared meals, basket, and Gingham blanket.

19. I still regret arguing during my audition for the school of music - I feel I should be a professional musician in a large, metropolitan-area orchestra.

20. I would write a lot more if I didn't feel like the future generations wouldn't appreciate good literature.

21. I have a difficult time hiding my attraction to people. I become giddy and laugh nervously.

22. I am considering quitting drinking altogether again.

23. I love hitting Ann Arbor with the Mikes.

24. I stopped collecting things and have accumulated more clutter than when I did collect things.

25. I miss being someone's muse. Some ex-boyfriends and some of my friends (both male and female) have said that I inspired stories, poetry, songs, screenplays, and art that they have created. How do I become that again...and for someone like my fiance, who is not really the creative type?

26. I regret not enjoying Florida more while living there. Being five miles from the ocean should have afforded so much more enjoyment.

27. In my quest to not be apathetic, I have become overly-empathetic and find it difficult to manage everyone's emotions.

28. I am fiercely independent and dislike when others "mess" up my living space, but I'd still prefer to have my fiance home every night.

29. In less than three years, I will be thirty. I need to re-examine my plan for my education, career, marriage, children, etc.

30. I can't wait until spring so that Mike V. and I can go drinking and stay out all night again in Ann Arbor.

31. I love going to libraries while drunk. I am a complete nerd.

32. I read into things too much.

33. I grieve the passing of the important moments of my life. I try to bargain with God to let me go back.

34. When I started driving, I paid around $1.19 per gallon of gas.

35. I don't have text messaging included in my phone plan. I've decided only some people are worth the $.15 per message.

36. I relive moments in my head...constantly.

37. I have imaginary conversations I want and need to have with my friends.

38. The year 2000 was, by far, the best and worst year of my life thus far.

39. Mike V. treated me to a Brian Vander Ark concert in Kalamazoo in 2006. While he was using the restroom, I wrote a note and left it in the CD jacket. He didn't find it for weeks.

40. I am a much more positive person than I used to be.

41. I don't own a coffee grinder.

42. I've resigned myself to the notion that if something were to happen, it would have happened by now.

43. I make up new card games that are designed for no one to win. They are single-player games.

44. I think my cats think that I am their real mother, especially when I wear my orange fleece jacket.

45. There are still boxes in my basement that haven't been unpacked. They contain teaching materials and electronics I think about using.

46. My favorite utensil is the spoon. And I actually have a favorite one in my silverware drawer.

47. I still crave cigarettes even though I haven't had one since I was fourteen or fifteen years old. I have smoked one cigar (at my sister's wedding).

48. I met one of my heros - Desmond Tutu - in 2005 while working at a hotel in Battle Creek, Michigan.

49. I usually hold grudges.

50. I am afraid of being alone, which explains why there have only been a handful of times when I wasn't in a relationship with someone within the past eleven years.

another week closer to summer break

I've begun to think about the closing of each week. I feel like a new teacher, always behind in my planning and grading (although the grading is far less taxing as I now teach German most of the day). I am stressed about many things going on in my building.

I think I will grade my students' quizzes and writing assignments tonight. I have no other plans, and it would be nice to spend my weekend doing other things, for once.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Not feeling quite so neurotic today.

I tend to look forward to Mondays. Today was very different. I knew going into it that it would be a tough day. I missed both Ryan's and my uncle Chuck's funerals because of contract issues with taking days off before and after vacations. Jeremy was unable to return from St. Louis for the funerals, as well.

I left work quickly today. I ended up going to dinner with Melissa - she called when I had just left my place in search of food (I had determined that I just didn't feel like cooking for myself). Mike hadn't called, so I figured he was busy with grad work or school stuff.

We had a nice meal in Canton. After returning home, I watched videos at ukuleledisco.com (one of my favorite sites). As I began to really wind down from the stress of the day, Mike called to, basically, apologize for not being able to meet for coffee as we have been doing on Mondays. He is just too busy with grad work and the end of the trimester at his school. I, of course, felt so proud of myself for knowing exactly what the hold-up was. Mike and I are so similarly wired that it would be damn near impossible to NOT know what is up with each other. I find it absolutely hilarious that while he was at a voice lesson tonight, I was singing scales and various songs, both with and without my uke.

He suggested we meet later this week or perhaps next week. That might be good. My friends could finally meet him. We've been good friends since 2000, and we've hung out both in the Kalamazoo area as well as all over the Detroit area, but most of my friends here have never met him. I swear he is not a figment of my imagination!

I spoke to Jeremy tonight. I miss him so much. I can't wait to see him this week (he'll be home for a couple of days). Perhaps our friends will all want to go out to the Rathskeller in the Heidelberg for a beer boot.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Ryan G.

Ryan G. is gone. One of Jeremy's best buds is dead. I still can't believe it. Jeremy is in shock, and the worst part is that I can't go and be with him tonight in St. Louis.

His girlfriend woke next to him this morning, and he was cold. How can a 28-year-old man die in his sleep when he is healthy?

I wonder if Jeremy is going to call Chris R. I don't think anyone else has his current contact information.

I want Jeremy to come home. Now.

I feel so bad for Ryan's parents. They are so warm and friendly. I can only imagine the devastation this causes.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

This is Mike.

I totally stole this from his blog and embedded the code. I hope he doesn't mind. Exposure isn't a bad thing, right?

Now I just need to get video of Reeny singing. It would be nice to have both of my best friends represented here in proper musical form.



If only I could get someone to write songs about me. Nice ones, anyway.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Bowling, Band, and Billy Ray Cyrus

Thursday had some twists. I couldn't get my research assignment done before class, due to server problems at work. Lucky for me, class was canceled! I decided to join the English department from my school at the bowling alley, where we ate brownies (baked by Jessy) and cheese fries.

After spending an hour with my colleagues, I went home and got ready for band rehearsal. I left later than usual, and then I couldn't find a parking space for a while due to a Billy Ray Cyrus concert at the theater. I eventually made my way in and found the percussion equipment already set up! Bonus!!! Rehearsal went really well; Cyrus's roadies were really nice when I was having issues with doors and percussion equipment during take-down. They struck up a conversation and held doors for me and such. It was pleasant.

I didn't get to say anything to BRC, not that I wanted to or anything - I am not a fan, but it was cool that I am surrounded by people who love the art of performance whenever I go to the theater. Sometimes we mingle with drama groups, other times musicians. It feels good being there, like my life somehow makes sense while I am there.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

quiet evenings in

There is a lot to be said for going out and having a good time. Mike and I had an awesome time at Alexie's book tour event. Tonight, though, I am enjoying the tranquility of my home - the cats are sleeping, Jeremy is away at training, the TV is off, and I have completed all of my grading and such for a couple of days. I am sipping mocha with Buttershots.

Everything feels right with the world - I haven't been able to say that in quite some time. I am just concerned because I was only able to achieve this feeling with a little bit of alcohol. I guess that goes back to the comment James responded to a long time ago - that the notion of improving oneself with the aid of alcohol is somewhat different from the norm. Or something like that. I am too lazy to check. Your words did resonate and I've pondered them many times since then, James.

I am now considering making a chocolate mousse cake - the real deal, not the store-bought crap that is fluffy. I will be making one (or two) in December for Christmas - I believe it is now expected when I arrive at Jeremy's relatives' holiday gathering. It was a hit last year, to say the least. I just don't think I should make one now. That stuff is about 400 calories per tiny slice. Perhaps I will just stick to my butterscotch schnapps and cuddle with my cats.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Postsecret and such

Sunday is postsecret day. I usually wake early and look at all the postcards people have sent in. Today, I didn't remember to check until much later. I was busy typing my paper.

I marvel at the baring of souls, while also wondering if some people send in secrets that are complete fabrications just to shock Frank and get posted online.

Should secrets be purged? Or should people be taught to use some discretion and keep some things private?

my paper is done!

I finished writing this morning and submitted my paper electronically. I have found myself so far behind in everything lately. I think this weekend finally provided time to rest AND get back on track.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

behind schedule, but definitely on track

Jeremy and I cleaned several rooms today. We didn't get to everything, but at least we made a dent. My paper is half done. I already have my information for my last half, so I am doing well. I will work on it tomorrow morning and email it to my professor in the afternoon. I then will work on lesson plans for the next two weeks.

Jeremy and I went out to dinner, which was really nice. I think he really got the message that we need to change our habits - blogs and emails from friends can be just the ticket sometimes. He is currently asleep on the couch while I try to get laundry done while working on my paper. All-in-all, this has been a very nice weekend. We've needed one of these for some time.

Just finding time to look into those green eyes of his makes life feel easier.

progress

While I have yet to tackle all of my paper that I need to send in to my professor today, Jeremy and I are cleaning. Well, actually, he is currently making me waffles for breakfast.

Last night, he read a message from a friend and my blog. We finally had a meaningful discussion about our relationship. I think life is going to get better. He even wants to run something by me, but noticed that I am posting something. He said it can wait until I am done. I don't think he knows how much that means to me that he is acknowledging that I have things I want and need to do.

Step one complete.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Hazel

On Monday, I learned that my best guy friend's eyes are hazel (I had thought they were brown). We have been incredibly close friends since 2000, and yet, I didn't know his eye color. What kind of crappy-ass friend am I?

His eyes looked very green, and I had asked if he was wearing color contacts. When he said no, I felt like the biggest dumb-ass ever! His eyes have just never looked so green before - perhaps it was the lighting in the store.

just talking can be nice

Work went really well today. I wore my Burger King costume, which made me quite happy. I had meetings in the afternoon that were a complete waste of time, but it was still a decent day. I took a series of naps after returning home. Jeremy called several times, and we had really short, yet nice, conversations. I think I had forgotten how nice it can be to just talk to him. He may come back for the weekend. I've learned not to get my hopes up when he is away at training, though.

I worked on my paper, and then turned on the TV to watch Ghost Hunters. I think I watch the show because I want to believe that there is something after physical death.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Primo Coffee

The workday progressed without incident. I was eager to leave, although I knew I'd be sitting at home - waiting for Mike to call. I had almost given up on the possibility of hanging out in Ann Arbor when I heard my phone sing its little tune.

Mike and I met for dinner at B.D.'s and then perused some used CDs at some little shop that Mike and I never seem to reach before closing time. After Mike made his ever-growing purchase, we visited a small coffee shop and graded papers. I worked on my essay, which hasn't really amounted to much, but it has a solid start. I need to sit down and create a detailed outline (as formulaic as that is).

I was doing some deconstruction of the text when Mike handed me a paper - one of his students had shared his inner torment, and I sort of brushed it aside. The whole exercise seemed artificial, as my mind was wrapped around the theories of deconstruction. I instantly felt sick to my stomach that I had not really taken it seriously. I am worried that Mike thinks I am insensitive. I would not have treated my own students' writing that way, and I regret my reaction.

Jeremy called to tell me he loves me and misses me. It's nice to know that even though he is several states away, he does think about me periodically throughout the day. That sounds so much like a textbook. Ugh.

I am waiting to hear from Noah to learn if he will meet me in Ann Arbor this weekend. While I understand Jeremy does not like Noah, I have never asked him to not hang out with any of his friends - even the ones I dislike (both male and female). All I ask is that he not bring them to my home, which he doesn't. I understand that he doesn't like or trust Noah. He is not afraid that Noah will force himself on me or anything - he is simply afraid that Noah might flirt with me or try to kiss me. Noah has been a pretty decent friend over the years. Jeremy should feel confident that I will not let anything inappropriate happen. Jeremy and I even discussed hanging out with our different groups of friends this weekend and meeting up at the end of the night. He seemed to embrace that idea a bit more.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Saturday's Lament

Jeremy woke me up early and we talked about what's been going wrong lately. He decided that he will most likely return home every weekend during training. I had already made plans for next weekend to hang out with Noah, and I think Jeremy just wants to prevent that scenario. It's not that anything will happen with Noah...we'll drink...we'll dance...he may even flirt with me. Hell, he might even bring his on-and-off-again girlfriend to hang out, too.

Jeremy just doesn't want me to spend any time with Noah. Jeremy knows that I am concerned about our relationship, so he probably is trying to keep me from spending a lot of time with my guy friends. He doesn't say he is really worried about me wanting to date Noah, but he has told me he is afraid that I might leave him for Mike.

Friday, October 26, 2007

anger

So, I've had an extremely stressful week and all I want to do is take a nap and then finish grading my students' papers tonight. I have a grad paper due early next week, and I haven't been able to finish reading the theory or the novel.

I drive home, eager to escape the nightmare that is teaching, and Jeremy has a buddy over. Did he clean anything? Did he do his laundry? Did he even clear a spot for me to work? No. Typical.

I can't even view an educational DVD I may use with my students because he and his friend are playing video games. They want me to drive them to the Heidelberg in Ann Arbor later tonight, when all I want to do is get something...anything done.

I think we might have our house guest until tomorrow, and his fiancee is driving out tonight. What the hell!?! How fucking inconsiderate!

This weekend, I have to complete report card grades, read literary theory, read a novel, write a 6-page paper, make lesson plans (including one formal one for my evaluation on Tuesday), set up for my concert, perform on Sunday, get some wedding planning done, clean EVERYTHING!, write letters to parents to explain some of the grading policy changes my school will adopt, and a variety of other things. Jeremy is also leaving on Sunday for three weeks, so I know he expects me to spend time with him.


Perhaps I will just take off with my uke. It feels like one of those days. I really just want to bash in his skull with it, but then I'd have to buy a new ukulele.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Another lonely night

Jeremy is at work again tonight.

I am, once again, avoiding my homework and grading. I need to get everything done by tomorrow so that I can give progress reports and such. I just stopped caring for the day.

My boss wasn't able to observe in my classroom today, so I have to reschedule.

Joe brightened my day today. It was nice to learn that he also looks back on our moments together and just enjoys the memories. I think we all had good times, you know, before life became so complicated.

Monday, October 22, 2007

strumming my little ukulele

I had big plans for myself upon my return home. Instead of conquering the world, I decided to play the ukulele and sing.

A list of some things I have avoided doing today:

1. grading tests for German
2. entering grades and printed progress reports for my students
3. typing a test I plan to give tomorrow (I think multiple choice may be the way to go!)
4. laundry
5. dishes
6. making dinner (we bought subs instead)
7. cleaning my kitchen
8. calling the place where we want to get married
9. exercising
10. homework for grad school

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Postsecret

I've decided to send in my secret.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

never

I will never be as happy as you are in your photographs.

Someone else's thoughts...

Closer - Dido

So leave your taxi waiting
And turn and close my door
And sit back down where you were sitting
A little closer than before

And when you look that serious
It just makes me want you more
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel

And yes I know you're nervous
Never seen you so unsure
You haven't touched your food tonight
And you're drinking more and more

And there's no need to hurry
Take your time I'll still be here
And I've been meaning to tell you

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel

The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around
The closer you get, the better I feel
The better I feel, the better I feel

We've been circling for time baby
We're coming down to land tonight
The wait is over and now it's easy
Everything is fine

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel

The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the closer you get
The better I feel

Monday, October 15, 2007

Mike called today to see if I wanted to meet him in Ann Arbor. I really wanted to, but Jeremy is leaving tomorrow for four days. I thought it best to stay home with my fiance. I was irritated, though, as Jeremy did ignore me a little to study for his upcoming test. I pouted and then took a nap. Not exactly quality time together.

Mike sounded so disappointed when I told him I wouldn't be able to meet him. That made me feel special - someone actually wanted to spend time with me. I rarely get phone calls, and invitations out are even more rare.

The disappointment I felt is a concern. I had this impulse to rebel against Jeremy. I was angered by the notion that I should have to change what I am doing to suit him - that is certainly not be what I should thinking about considering we are now engaged.


This evening, Jeremy told me he is afraid that I might run off with Mike. Mike and I would never do this. That's just not the nature of our relationship.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

As Seen on Myspace...

So far, the Homecoming Dance count is:

6 students arrested for possession of alcohol (most "through consumption").

1 student hospitalized (one of the six arrested) - I witnessed the incident. Drunk (and high) student resisting arrest, etc.Quite a show!

2 times the freshman/sophomore dance had to be stopped because of indecency and violence. Manyof the students were engaged in activity that was in between dancing and sex.

4 kids refused at the door (despite the irate parents insisting they should be allowed in) because they couldn't get there by 9 PM - the dance started at 7:30.

2 kids suffering breathing problems - both were remedied without hospitalization

1 teacher suit coat stolen

16 times one student went to the bathroom to wash his hands while I was on door duty (35 minutes total)

16 chaperones who did not show up or call to say they weren't coming.

5 hours I stayed, even though I planned to only be there for one.

1 girl who allowed her date to pull up her dress and show off here undergarments while on the dance floor (that I witnessed, anyway).

1 male student who actually said (to me) he wouldn't dance to certain types of music with his date because he didn't want to disrespect her. Can you say "Awww!"?

2 carloads of non-students were chased off of campus by the police.

13 times the table was slammed against my legs by freshman and sophomore students who were acting like animals at the end of the night (coat check). I am going to have some nasty bruises.

2 pairs of shoes left unclaimed.

I may be able to add more to this list once I get back to school. Perhaps accidents and such. I saw a terrible accident on my way home - it could have been one of our students.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

dehydrated again

Once again, I am severely dehydrated. I refuse to go to the hospital, even though I've been having health problems all day (mostly vision, hearing, and muscle movement issues). I've been trying to take in a bunch of water, but I just can't keep drinking it.

I should be accustomed to this because it happens so frequently, but I just can't seem to force myself to drink enough liquid. I am really craving salt, too. That's probably a sign that something else is wrong, but I loathe going to the doctor - although my urologist is actually someone I am fine with (my current insurance stuff won't cover a visit to him without first visiting the doctor in the area who is listed as my primary care physician).

I feel as though I've wasted yet another Saturday. Jeremy is actually home this weekend, but we didn't go look at houses or reception halls - yeah, we are way behind schedule with our wedding plans! We are just rarely home at the same time, and it is difficult to make decisions that affect both of us in that situation.

Beyond the "normal" stress, I am to help with Homecoming tonight at work. I don't think I'll stay the whole time; but I said that about dances last year. The teachers end up going out drinking afterward, and that is an absolute blast! I wouldn't trust my body with alcohol today, though. I am facing enough stress on my organs.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Nightmares

I can't stop having nightmares. I know what my subconscious is trying to deal with (still), but I'd simply like to avoid the topic. I don't want to get into it here, either. I force myself awake and then sit up for a while. I feel like I am so stressed out.

I made several stiff drinks last night for Mike A., Jeremy, and myself. I could not focus on grading papers, which I brought home with me again today. I have been avoiding them for hours now. Unfortunately, the alcohol didn't just let me rest.

I have other things on my mind, too, so I am hoping to find some sort of outlet to avoid fucking things up.

Monday, October 01, 2007

A good birthday

Jeremy was out of town today, but I had a great day. My students were wonderful. I had a number of good laughs. Mike treated me to dinner. We talked for hours, as usual, and it was so comforting and kind. He looked at clothes in some store, and I critiqued jackets and such - I taught Mike the term "Moobs" - apparently my meshing of both 'man' and 'boobs' was a hit. He said he will definitely use that term tomorrow. We walked in the rain, stopped at coffee shops, completed homework and graded the homework of our students, all the while contemplating what the world would be like if our students really put forth the effort that we hope for.

I didn't get my exact birthday wish, but who ever does? I believe I got something better. I was able to let go of yesterday's grief and depression and feel giggly and happy. Mike is the ultimate pick-me-up. Everyone needs someone like Mike. And the best part? We don't need alcohol to be like that. I thought that our wild A2 nights could be only that - wild (as the result of being intoxicated), but we still have a great time without the booze.

Maybe next time we hang out there will be nicer weather and I can demonstrate my MAD uke skills. I have yet to do that for him. I can't tell you how many times he has been the resident performer. It would be nice to let him relax and have someone perform music for him.

I may be going to see David Sedaris in a couple of weeks with my parents and Jeremy. I may see what my budget is and treat Mike. Also, I have to keep him informed about Sherman Alexie, who will be returning the the A2/Ypsi area in early November. He missed him last time, so he is determined to get there. The best part? He will be at my college! Frickin' sweet!

Thank you to everyone who have made this day wonderful. I LOVE GUYS!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

depression

I feel so depressed it's hard to breathe.

My parents invited me over for dinner; that only made me feel worse. Sometimes I think I might be better off taking myself out of existence.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Woke up this morning

I woke up this morning with lesson plans going through my head. I was able to snag one of the data projectors (which are rarely available) for all of next week, so I am going to jump in and teach my classes the way I love to teach with music, graphics, PowerPoint presentations, virtual (internet) field trips, etc. I may be able to hang on to the darn thing longer if no one else signs it out.

I also have chores on my mind. I went to my basement and found a rather nasty surprise from my cats. Because my complex was painting doors, we were instructed to leave our pets closed in a room. My cats retaliated by pissing on the floor - right next to their damn litter box! Luckily, I have a standard basement floor that can be mopped or sprayed down for cleaning, but I still felt the need to scrub the entire floor and rewash clothes that were nowhere near the urine but were subject to wafts of cat urine for a day.

Jeremy will be home around 1:30 this afternoon and will leave again tomorrow. Then he will return on Tuesday. I just need to work in my reading, writing of papers, grading, and lesson planning around his schedule - he is always a distraction. Not that I'm complaining, though. I rather like that, after all these years, he still gets my full attention.

Monday

I am having dinner with Mike on Monday. Wahoo!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Morgen ist Freitag!

I've been speaking so much more German to my students than I did last year at this time. I am trying to work in immersion-style methods, and so far, everything seems to be going well.

My grad class was decent, although I didn't complete the reading. I stopped at the theater to pay my annual dues for band and then left. I didn't feel like I could get through rehearsal tonight. I picked up a sub on the way home and I've been running around since I arrived. It's hard to believe that I've only been home for fifty minutes. I can't remember the last time I was able to get so much done - especially while nursing a cold!

Tomorrow, my German students will take a quiz and then watch a DVD. My English students will be completely several pre-reading assignments and activities for Beowulf. I feel like I am in my element lately!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

worn out but happy

Despite the fact that I truly enjoy my job, I am constantly exhausted at the end of the day. I did just recently come down with a cold (today is the worst day yet), but I find it ridiculous that I am so tired. Unfortunately, because I cannot breathe through my nose, I cannot sleep. I cannot even focus on my homework. Instead, I've been watching Ghost Hunters on SciFi. Jeremy is on his way home with his buddy Joel, and they are supposed to be bringing me dinner and medication.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

5 options - lame post, but who cares?

Should I:

1. attend a camp-out with my relatives this weekend.
2. celebrate Maureen's birthday (a couple of days late) and go out clubbing.
3. go to Ann Arbor with Mike.
4. shut myself indoors and complete all of my homework and lesson plans for the next two weeks.
5. clean EVERYTHING again.

-OR-

6. a little of each.

Monday, September 10, 2007

...

I feel like writing, but I have nothing to write about. Someone, please inspire me tonight.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

grad school

I attended my first class at Eastern. It will definitely keep me on my toes!!! I am not as well-versed in literary criticism/theory, but this will certainly change that. Ironically enough, high school English teachers can be somewhat trained out of using the different schools of thought when it comes to analyzing something. We are supposed to teach students to find "their own meaning", with which I've always found a problem.

Our anchor text that we will examine through thirty or so different "lenses" is Bram Stoker's Dracula! What a treat!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I feel invincible!!!!!!!!!

I checked the status of my passport - I should have it by the 3rd of September. Apparently, calling did help! And this means that I will be able to hop a flight to Germany during Oktoberfest in Munich!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I just need to find a flight and some time. I would not feel guilty about taking a couple of personal days this coming month.

I just pulled together a large number of boxes to take to my classroom. I am so excited about school starting up again. I think Jessy has really motivated the twelfth grade teachers well.

One of my professors wants to have class at her house instead of the university classroom. I am pleased about this. The English department at Western also did things like this.

Now, I NEED to get to sleep. I have to be up by 5:30. And I think I might be able to sleep through the night tonight.

I'm bringing my 'A' game today!

I set up my classroom today. I pulled from my stockpile of posters and other items to decorate, and then I tried to incorporate anything anyone was willing to sacrifice from their rooms. It is quite cool in there. I forgot to bring batteries for my digital camera, so those of you waiting to see pictures on MySpace will simply have to wait.

My bike repairs were completed early, so I picked up my bike today after dinner. I am very pleased with the work. The entire crank system had to be rebuilt, but I didn't have to pay for labor - just factory prices for the parts. It wasn't unreasonable.

After returning home, Jeremy was called in to work. Instead of the typical 1.5 call time, he was told to be there in 45 minutes, which is in violation of his contract. The union will eat this up! He plans on calling his rep after the trip. He is a new employee, so he is trying to stay in everyone's good graces. He will return tomorrow, so all is well that ends well.

Other things...other things...

My rosebush is thriving! I bought the little potted plant around Mother's Day, and I planted it outside shortly thereafter. It is currently about ten times the size it was then. It is constantly blooming and because the roots are doing so well, I will not have to dig it up for the winter. All I have to do is make sure I heap a little more mulch onto the base and let it go dormant. I will have to trim back foliage when it starts to bud in the spring, but that is nothing! I want to dig it up, though, when I move. I also want to dig up my dwarf Alberta spruce. The other plants can stay - well, maybe I will splice them and plant them in pots and build them up to full plants. I have two pumpkins, several acorn squash, and many gourds growing out back. I am excited to get into the spirit of fall time.

My colleagues and I have planned the first 21 days of English 12. We will have all of our paperwork completed by the end of the week! As far as German 1, I have everything from last year, so everything is ready to go! I will have so much less stress from the high school - I will be able to focus on grad school.

Mike and I will try to put in one last Ann Arbor thing this weekend. I like that we both can unwind so easily there (I'm certain it's the alcohol).

Noelle's husband will be returning home early next week.

I am becoming more confident with singing and playing the uke.

And the coolest thing for the night? My laundry is just about done! Now, I can focus on sorting items for donation and the dumpster. I love getting into cleaning like this!

New school year

I found no trouble waking early today. I have to get to work by 8 for a staff meeting. Yesterday, I began to set up my classroom - people seemed amazed that I could pull things together the way I did. I think they forget that I have been teaching for five years now, and this past year was the only year I didn't have my own space; I was on a cart, traveling from room to room.

My mentor teacher gave me a DVD player for the room, as well as a stockpile of German stuff. How nifty is that!?! I will post pictures of everything once I put up my posters (they are still awaiting lamination in the library).

I like new beginnings. I saw students yesterday as they picked up their schedules - I am ready for school to start up again. I am even more eager to start grad school.

More later - I have to put several items away in my classroom before my meetings. Catch you all on the flip side!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

TC

Jeremy and I visited Traverse City, Old Mission Point, Leland, Northport, and Suttons Bay yesterday. I cannot remember the last time I walked so much in one day.

It was a great place to go to get away, even for such a short time. The weather was absolutely beautiful! We dipped our feet in the water, checked out several places, and watched a sailboat race. We viewed a few houses, but we both know it will be quite some time until we can move up there permanently.

I just hope that once I get my bike back and Jeremy gets his tuned up, we will spend a weekend or two this fall riding from TC to Old Mission or Suttons Bay and back. We maintained our calorie-counting consumption process, which actually worked very well on the road. I don't know how we let this thing get out of hand.

The drive home last night was okay, too. I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before and walking all day, but I was able to steer us home with Jeremy falling into intermittent naps.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

...having a supportive and close family is a bad thing

Today, Jeremy and I decided to attack the pile of wedding information we've accumulated. We have narrowed our list, but we are running out of time if we want to book the place we want for next August. Our first choice was only available on a Friday night, which would not work, so our second choice is hopefully going to work out (I think it's a much nicer ballroom, personally). We started to price everything. I am really surprised average prices have risen so much since Autumn's wedding three years ago.

I've never really been all that into weddings, so I feel like I have no compass. Jeremy doesn't know what he wants, either. I prefer to look at the situation as though Jeremy and I are just easy to please and open to almost anything. That should make it easier, right?

Our guest list is going to be really short, aside from family. The places we like (and can afford) just won't accommodate a huge party. My family is huge, so I have to forgo the idea of having all of my friends see me get married and then celebrate with us. To think, Jeremy had an issue with some of the people on my list of friends - one in particular in Battle Creek - and we argued about it. Now, I realize that we wouldn't be able to have those individuals there, anyway, due to capacity restraints and such. Why does my family have to be so close-knit? Ugh...I am acting like having a supportive and close family is a bad thing. Weddings are just not good for one's mental health!


In the middle of contacting different halls, Jeremy received a call from work - he had to report within 90 minutes for a flight or two tonight. I'm happy that he won't be gone for days, but it sort of puts a crimp in what we were accomplishing. The two piles of contact forms (yes, I created fill-in-the-blank forms - I'm such a nerd!) now have to become one, and I don't have the time to get to all of them today. I have to get ready for rehearsal tonight, and I've been playing the ukulele to relieve stress. I can't call places tomorrow, as I will setting up my classroom - I am even taking in my mini fridge from college! Jeremy agreed to help, so maybe I will hand him the list while I decorate bulletin boards and hang posters. I've already rearranged the room and started to organize books and such, so that is good.

Other random thoughts:
My bike won't be ready for another week. I want to hang out with Mike soon. I need to compile all of my detailed lesson plans in binders before the year starts; that will save so much time and energy later on. I also need to order my textbooks for grad school. My instructors were nice enough to provide the syllabus early so that we can get the books cheap and such. How nice is that!?!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

...

I took my bike in for some much-needed repairs (the chain and several teeth on one circular disk have been destroyed). Unfortunately, TREK no longer stocks these particular components, so the bike mechanics are going to rebuild the entire thing with an updated drive section. When dealing with a pricey bike, things like that are rather pricey. I love my bike, though, and I haven't been able to use it. When trying to shift gears, the chain pops off.

Perhaps I should take one of the bike mechanics courses offered through REI. That could help a great deal.

Anyway, I won't have my bike for a couple of weeks. I will have to walk more, which is fine.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Cheeseburger in Caseville

Jeremy and I drove up to Caseville yesterday to visit his parents (for his father's birthday). The annual Cheeseburger in Caseville celebration was in full swing, so we walked around town and listened to various performers. Later in the afternoon, we took the dingey out to the swimming area to watch the annual cardboard box boat race. What a hilarious little event! Jeremy wants to "build" one for next year. I am all for it.

I also would like to start participating in the Red Bull Flugtag. I am trying to convince Jeremy to fly us down to Austin, Texas, to check out the event next weekend. He will most likely have to work. Perhaps I should just go alone. I would hop a flight back and get ready for my teacher workweek immediately following.

This week, I plan to set up my classroom and create my first quarter's worth of assignments. I may hang out with a couple of friends (perhaps a girls' night out!!!). I will get my bike fixed, get my cuckoo clock fixed, and get my entire townhouse organized. I have a new system in mind for storage. It will make life so much easier!
I also need to visit several halls and find out how much this wedding is going to cost.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Wedding money and phone calls

I slept in so late today. That's nothing new, but I had really wanted to get up and start viewing reception halls and such. My mother has finally given me a range. My parents are planning to pay for most of my wedding. I am shocked. After they had spent the money they set aside for my wedding on my sister's wedding in 2004, I thought I was just out of luck. Jeremy's parents plan to help with the bar, which is so nice of them. They had stated that they would not be help with any wedding costs, as they had to pay for their own wedding, but they must have had a change of heart.

Now, I just need to find a hall and reserve it. That is step number one.


--------------------------------------------

Just a little message to everyone out there. While I appreciate receiving phone calls, I would appreciate it if you would not call (or text, for that matter) after 10/10:30 at night. I am trying to get back into the rhythm of waking up early (to teach all day and attend grad school in the evenings). I do not have a land line, so my cell phone is usually on. I get quite annoyed if calls come in late.

Some of you are as close as family, though, and if you need me for ANYTHING, you can call ANYTIME. You know who you are.

Acquaintances with non-emergency calls should not wake me up from much needed rest. And you can assume that I will be unavailable after 10 on most nights.

I don't answer calls that show a number is "withheld", "unidentified", "blocked", or "anonymous" or whatever else the screen might say. I am not trying to be a snot about this, but I do expect a certain level of courtesy here. If you choose to not identify yourself, I don't want to receive your call. If you can't get on board and understand where I am coming from, then perhaps we shouldn't stay in contact.

Oh, and one more thing...if you have my number, please don't give it to others without my permission. That is presumptuous and incredibly rude.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Frankenmuth and Birch Run

I had so much fun today. Mostly, Jeremy and I walked. And walked. And walked.

I bought a few German items for my classroom, and a LOT of new clothing and shoes. I bought nine pairs of shoes and sandals! The GAP Outlet store had a 90% off sale, and I was able to get 30 and 40 dollar items for a few bucks each. What a great deal! I may post some pictures of my new shoes and my trip to Frankenmuth on MySpace - I just have to find my USB cord. Then, everyone will be able to see my life from the past four or five months. I spent more money at Nautica, but the pants and jacket look great! It's rare for me to find clothing that truly fits me properly. Maybe that means I need to change me.

I need a personal trainer and a personal chef. The trainer would have to be the drill sergeant type who is not afraid to see me red-faced and dripping with sweat, while the chef would have to be able to force-feed me and keep me from eating anything not "on the list". Perhaps I could make this a reality if I win the lottery tonight.

Jeremy and I may fly somewhere tomorrow. The problem we are facing is that there seems to be no room on the returning flights. Maybe we just need to go to a less popular place.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Hills

I went for my interview today. It went well. I hope I am asked back for a second interview. Now, I just have to be patient. That is not my strong suit. I drove around Rochester Hills for a while prior to my interview. I can't believe how many houses are on the market there. I cannot afford them, but it's nice to dream.

Updated my FAFSA forms today - I wasn't going to take out loans for grad school, but if I do get the job, I won't be full time. The position is .8 and I need to make sure I have enough money to cover everything. I just hate the idea of adding to my education debt. The payoff will be worth it. I can maintain my teaching license, continue to work, and make a hell of a lot more money.

Jeremy and I are going to Frankenmuth tomorrow. I am all for getting out of the area for a day.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Now Hydrated and Not Sleeping

I don't know if I really messed up my system the other night or if this is the return of my insomnia, but I really can't sleep. I can't seem to focus on my Vonnegut novel, either.

I am feeling stressed about:

my interview on Monday
the new school year at either school
getting out of my lease and moving (I don't feel safe here)
lesson plans
wedding plans
cleaning my place
decorating my place (if I can't get out of my lease and move in the next month)
starting grad school ($4000. tuition bill + books + parking permit + incidentals)
keeping up with fitness goals


Jeremy just tells me to 'relax'. Telling someone this only serves to make them more stressed, because it is impossible to relax. There is far too much at stake here.


I've decided I will probably help my mother with her garage sale next weekend. I haven't yet told her this, but I want to assist my parents in getting rid of the stuff that stresses them out. When closing time hits, I will probably load up a bunch of their items and donate them. My mother would never do this, and the act is necessary. My mother may need an intervention. She has closets full of baby clothes that she has been collecting over the years - Autumn and I have no children. We don't plan to have them for a number of years.

My mother also collects baskets and rugs and dolls and suitcases and tents and shoes (although I think she has some of my clogs and I am trying to find them) and blankets and pillows and tables and figurines and picture frames (I took a handful last month) and salon equipment and dishes and pedestals and much, much more.

I am afraid she will turn into my grandmother - hoarding away EVERYTHING. I have pack-rat tendencies, too, but I am trying to fix them in my twenties here.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Gay bar & a hangover

Gay bars are so much fun!

I hung out with two of my straight guy friends last night. We barhopped for several hours and then hit a gay bar. While one of the guys and I had a smashing time out on the floor - I was pole dancing, dancing with random men, and being plain silly - the other just sort of slipped away. I was initially dancing with both guys, but guy #2 went off to sit somewhere. He was not thrilled about being in a gay bar, even though he has no issue with gay people. I think he was just hoping to find some interesting women. And being hit on by men is not really his cup of tea. He took each invitation to dance as a compliment, but that wasn't what he though the night would end like.

I got home and tried to sleep, which didn't work. Well, not right away, anyway. As my body "healed", I started to feel really ill. I have never before experienced a hangover, but I am fairly certain that that is what I was feeling. I tried to swallow two liters of water, but I couldn't hold it down. My eyes were screaming when I turned on lights. My body didn't ache, and my head really didn't hurt. I was somewhat dizzy, though. After a number of hours, I was able to slip into a nice restful state. I woke up to drink water and nibble on pizza crust while watching The Two Coreys (fucking lame - what a waste of my time!). Then, I got my mail and watched the Samantha Brown: Passport to Europe (Germany, Switzerland, and Austria) DVD I ordered for my German classes this year.

Jeremy called to see if I want to fly up to Traverse City tonight, but I don't think it's wise. I have an interview on Monday morning, and I would rather not risk being bumped from flying back tomorrow night. I wouldn't be able to make it back on Monday until afternoon if that happened, and thus, I'd miss my interview with one of the best districts in Michigan. I also need to update my teaching portfolio and practice interview questions (people forget how necessary that is). I also need to study up on Spanish - I will have to demonstrate my competence not only in English but German and Spanish, as well.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Upcoming Interview

I set up an interview with one of the best school districts in Michigan for a .8 German/World Languages position at a middle school. While I feel confident that the job would be fun and I'd be comfortable teaching the subject matter (despite the BASIC Spanish that I'd have to teach for 3 weeks), the fact that it is .8 does worry me. The extra time off each day would be conducive to my full grad schedule, but the lowered income would be a concern. The district may offer tuition reimbursement that could actually make this job worth it in the long run, though.

My current district offers nothing as far as tuition reimbursement even though I am REQUIRED to gone on for more education. I currently do not receive any sort of funding for any professional development. Other districts in which I have worked have always allocated money for this - it's standard operating procedure - even at the Catholic school where I wasn't paid enough to live.

The interview carries with it the idea that that district in northern Oakland county is one that would be great to work for. The 95% college entrance rate for graduates is impressive for any public school district. I could be very happy spending the rest of my career in a community that values education.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Read

Visit Reenee's blog and find out how creepy Mike's "Not-A-Boss" is!

Having grown up around a photographer, as well as his affiliates and various studios and forums/organizations, this photographer's behavior is uncharacteristic and totally unprofessional.

Teeth

I am having the recurring theme of losing my teeth in my dreams. While the dream is always different, losing teeth is always the same. This last dream was so realistic that when I woke, I was completely shocked to learn that I still have my teeth.

Perhaps I should just stop sleeping altogether.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Return of C-boy

I finished watching The English Patient and decided to check my email. I was thrilled when I opened it and saw that I had received a message from C-boy. If you aren't aware of who C-boy is and the odd story there, I am sorry; I am going to leave you in the dark.

As I opened the email, I was greeted with a brief message about his having to endure his first day of teaching for the school year tomorrow (he's a recent transplant to the south and his school year is starting quite early). After this little declaration, he spewed a small string of profanity that just brightened my day. An excerpt from that message: fuck shit piss. How can one not laugh at that?

Since he had started dating a woman at work last school year, he and I hadn't really had a chance to hang out. We had been hanging out regularly up to that point. It takes him a while to warm up to people, and he has a terrific sense of humor. I had actually forgotten that until I read his message.

I have no doubt his female students, as well as his gay male students, are going to be experiencing crushes and such quite soon. The students at my school were heart-broken to learn that he was not going to return next year.

I hope to hear from him again soon. And I hope he kept one of the congratulation posters I made of him and posted around the school to hang in his classroom. I enlarged two pictures from my HS yearbooks(his freshman and sophomore years when he had long hair and definitely looked like a total stoner), and posted them where everyone could see them. He was very pleased that I had done that. I would be horrified if my HS pictures made it out into the general population (well, I MIGHT allow my senior pictures but certainly not freshman year).

It sucks that another one of my drinking buddies is gone. He'll just have to visit, or I will have to fly down to Atlanta (I can do that for free!), and we will hit the bars there. That could be a fun, little adventure.

That's probably a bad idea.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants

This is not eloquent or planned...I just made a connection with a book, and I thought I'd explore it...


I wouldn't call my uncle Bill's death 'untimely'. My uncle Bill was just entering his 80s and had been ill for some time. The last time I visited him, his 6-foot body was quite frail at a meager 130 pounds. You may remember reading something about that on my MySpace blog. He still had his pleasantness about him, even though he could have been angry that he would soon be taken from everyone in his family. He was decently aware, despite the Alzheimer's. He may not have been able to speak all that loudly or know all of our names if tested, but he always knew that we were family and that we belonged near him.

Several people spoke at the service. First, a chaplain from the hospice center read some prepared statements from several family members and friends. The first was from an old military buddy whom he had befriended during WWII while they both were still in boot camp. This man couldn't make the trip, but he let us all in on how they had formed two lives that intertwined so many people and decades. The man had actually set up my uncle on a blind date with his fiancee's best friend, Shirley (my aunt). We listened to stories about golf outings and my uncle's hideous plaid and patchwork golf pants.

These same pants also showed up in the tale from my uncle Gary. He relayed how he and my dad spent so much time with my aunt and uncle as kids (my dad was actually born after my aunt and uncle married - how crazy is that!?!). He made up nicknames like Gar-hart and Will-helm and called them both 'girls'. My uncle and my father, being the youngest of seven, grew up with my uncle Bill being a brother to them - not a brother-in-law. He was always a fixed point in the family. As they grew older, he took them golfing, and my uncle Gary would make fun of the ugly golf pants my uncle seemed to treasure.

My cousins, Uncle Bill's daughters, spoke next. I wasn't expecting K. to share a funny story about her parents and their odd forms of fighting, but it was good to remember that they were both extremely unique people. During an argument one year, my aunt left to go shopping. She found a carved piece of wood in the shape of a hand flipping the bird. She bought it and would move it around the home at eye level to signal that she was upset with him. While this sent a message, it in turn, helped her find humor in the most frustrating situations. T. spoke next and used her time to share more sentimental ideas that she isn't really known for expressing. The loss of her husband in a semi v. man accident in 2005 has definitely made her a much more compassionate person. I've always known her to be brash and a little detached from emotion, but it simply poured out of her.

My uncle was cremated and the urn sat on a counter near a poster covered with images from his life. The pants even made it, although they are now sealed in a glass frame.

The annual family golf tournament, which has always been a "quest for the pants", is now to be named after my uncle. Many of my uncles and one cousin have "won" this award. My father won them, even, and decided to 'slim down' so that he could actually put them on. Those hideous plaid and patchwork pants have been passed on, year after year, from relatives to friends and back again. These pants have united generations within my family, and I am grateful that the men will continue to have something that my uncle Bill could leave behind - not only an annual golf tournament prize but a sense that they belong to something larger.

The weekend belongs to Mesaba

Jeremy just received a call to report to work tomorrow morning. While it is great that he will be earning money, he was told he would have at least one more week before being called. Apparently, Detroit is in need of on-call first officers and so they decided to call in Jeremy, who is actually based in Memphis for August. It is good that he will probably spend the month flying trips that he wouldn't normally get (and they'll be out of Metro) until his official base change to Detroit on September 1st. I am just irritated because I canceled plans with friends to accommodate a trip to Chicago. I don't think I will get my little vacation at all this year. I may either fly or drive out to the west Michigan coast later in the weekend to see him (he will overnight in a decent little town and that could be different). Until then, maybe I will get to visit with MV. I also will probably visit with the folks and discuss wedding budget stuff (yeah, they said they'd 'help' but I need to know what that really mean$).

I think I may also use this time to plan my lessons for September. There is no sense in waiting - Jeremy will be home again early next week, and I would rather use that time to visit with him.

The way we were

I miss how we were before we started the whole wedding-planning nightmare. Today, our arguing has shifted from venues to guest lists.

We will be happy with almost any venue, although our first choice location was only available on a Friday night. This wouldn't work well, as it is so far away, and most people wouldn't be able to get there. It has a beautiful view and very affordable catering and other services. I just wish Saturday was available. That is only day that we could really have a wedding so far away and still have our families and friends show up.

The main issue now is that there are people on my list of friends who Jeremy does not want at the wedding and reception. This will be an uphill battle. I know money is tight, but I'd like to have some of these friends there. Jeremy will not budge on taking these individuals off the list. Some are obvious reasons; some are not so obvious. We've now reached the point of just staying quiet about the subject. I know I need to respect his concerns, but these people are friends and I'd like for them to be included in the celebration. Oh, what am I to do? I will probably make him take several people I'd rather not see off of his list of friends. I hate that that would be a compromise. It just seems spiteful and immature.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

House Hunt

Although Jeremy and I have decided to stick it out for another year in our current rental, we are eagerly searching for a house. I am hoping that we will have a solid lead, if not a home of our own, by this time next summer.

I have just witnessed too many things living here.

Yesterday, eight or nine teenage boys decided to set several items on the playground on fire, fueling the flames with a bottle of lighter fluid. While this was going on, I saw several drug deals. The cops weren't as helpful as they've been in the past.

A couple of nights ago, Jeremy and I looked out the sliding glass door to see police cruisers and a number of youths. It turns out there was some sort of fight stemming from a drug deal gone bad. At the end of the ordeal, at least four people were arrested and taken away.

The kids here are absolute pieces of shit. A group of African-American males dismantled the tables at the pavilion. These same kids scream obscenities at each other all hours of the day, which is not appreciated by me or any of the families who like to take their kids to the playground (or those who need to sleep). My next-door neighbor likes to have her family over, which is her prerogative, but all they do is scream (happy, angry...it doesn't matter).

I caught a kid touching Jeremy's car yesterday. I don't understand the total lack of respect for other's things. Well, maybe I do. I can understand that if all of your shit is a mess, then you probably resent those who do have nice things (even though you could, too, if you took care of your own stuff). He walked away quickly, and I haven't seen him touch it again.


I am just ready to enjoy my own space with, God-willing, a decent amount of land. I found the best possible deal today on a house built in 2005. It has almost everything Jeremy and I want. The location is exactly where we want. The catch? We don't have jobs in the Traverse City area. I doubt the house will be on the market long enough for us to wait it out another year.


Jeremy did go for a nice walk today in the 95-degree heat. It was actually pretty nice. I picked up fliers from several houses for sale in Canton. There were a couple in a decent neighborhood that offered some unique amenities. Maybe we will just get our "starter" house around here, and then save up for our dream house in Traverse City.

So glad

I am so glad Jeremy came home on Saturday.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

a late night

I am home again from a late night of drinking. I didn't think I would return so late, but one must be open to that sort of thing when drinking.

It was a good night. I got giggly drunk fairly quickly. I continued drinking, but I managed to sober up around 2:30. I sat by my drinking partner's side while he left a memento of his experience in the flower box outside some shop. When I sobered up, I tried to convince him to let me drive him home. That was a no-go. I'm not quite sure why. Eventually, after some drunk calls to his buddy, he seemed to sober up. I followed him home and toured his new house.

I still find it incredible that people our age are settling into houses and neighborhoods. I know this is about that age, but I don't have a house - I assume everyone has my goals, my dreams, my expectations. I am nowhere near where I want to be when I "settle down".

...

It's 5:30...Dawson's Creek is on. I can't believe I am sitting around waiting for the sun to come up. I can't sleep...I am nowhere near needing sleep. I slept last night. I think I will clean the kitchen and fold the rest of my laundry. The thing is...I should probably pour myself a few glasses of wine, just to get this all moving along. I am a really dedicated housekeeper when intoxicated.

Friday, July 27, 2007

visitors

I think two of my teenage cousins will be visiting this weekend. I should probably step up my efforts to clean up the pigsty that used to be my living room!

Now, I just need a new place for my teaching materials.

what we don't say

I felt brave enough to post something here a few minutes ago, but I decided to simply erase it. I haven't erased it from my mind, so I am certain you will all read it at some point. But, that time will be much, much later.

Why do we leave things unsaid? Am I alone in this? What am I so afraid of? What are some of the things you all wish you hadn't left unsaid?

Monday, July 23, 2007

indoors

I thought I would get out and jog today, but I really wasn't up to it. I wasn't up for anything today, despite my cheery disposition and feeling healthy. I did open a few boxes that I had stored in my basement some time ago - I was surprised to find that there was yet another box of my writing. I thought I had compiled it all into two bins. Apparently, I have some other writings floating around here.

I organized a variety of teaching materials for my next curriculum planning session with Jesse. There really are teachers out there who inspire you to be a better teacher. He does this for me, and he says I do this for him. I think this year is going to be wonderful. I just have to find my inflatable palm tree to give to him. He is helping me with getting German stuff, and I am helping with his Bob Marley inspired design. I have so much stuff from teaching at the middle school that will be perfect for his room, which will be right next to mine!!! I've decided how I will set mine up, for the most part. I received my posters, flags, and other items from several companies. The next step is getting my cuckoo clock repaired so that I have an authentic German cuckoo clock in my room. I also want to unleash some of my creativity and create the "Rathskeller" feel with posts and sloping ceiling (there are several ways to accomplish this - I just have to see what I can afford, what is allowed, and how much time it will all take. I want my students to feel that they are in a very unique place that ties them to Germany. The hard part will be incorporating the English/Literature stuff, even though I've done that many times before. I don't have a lot of bookshelves or anything, but I do have some alternatives that will make the place very different from some of the other rooms in the school. I need to digitize my plan and post it at some point soon. Or, better yet, I will just do it, and then post photographs. I can win awards for stuff like that through several German teacher organizations. I want the money! I want to express myself artistically. I want to make my students feel like they are part of the culture.

Other thoughts...I think I will try to get to Munich for Oktoberfest. I am not a huge fan of crowds, but I think the beer will help. Plus, how could my school be upset with me if I took my two personal days for an authentic German experience? I would not promote drinking to my students or anything. Most of my students see me as a straight-laced homebody who does not have a life. If they only knew! There are a handful that I've kept in touch with who now see me as a friend, I suppose. I think in a year or so, when they turn 21, I may meet them at a bar/brewery in the Kalamazoo area. That would be a riot!

I am busy turning many of my work papers into Word files...and either PDF or JPEG files. I just don't want the clutter, and as long as I back them up in several places, I should be fine. I am still working on my stories, but I always create a hard copy of that stuff. Most teaching stuff can be duplicated or adapted from other teachers' stuff.

weekend update

Last night, Mike A. took me out to dinner in Ann Arbor. I am truly impressed with Cottage Inn Pizza. After dining, we walked around Ann Arbor. I took pictures of some of my favorite places. I just hope I find the USB cord so that I can upload my photos to MySpace (I realize I haven't been able to post any of my pictures from the past several months). After we walked a bit, we went to the Heidelberg for beer. It was a nice to end to a really nice weekend.

I hope to hear from Mike V. about hanging out on Tuesday. Summer is starting to narrow to the end, which will help keep me sane, I think. I just don't know what to do with myself when I have this much freedom from responsibility.

I have a concert on Wednesday, and then Jeremy will come home for a couple of days, only to leave again for a few days. Then, he will probably have about two weeks off, during which we will travel around and visit, view, research, and reserve a reception hall for our wedding next year.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Discoveries and Ass Holes

I found Ass Hole's MySpace page. I had started looking through the links for high schools, as I've been trying to find my friend Donald. I couldn't remember which high school he went to in that particular city, so I started looking through all of them. Needless to say, I became a bit distracted when I happened to see Ass Hole's profile listing. I was actually in the middle of a really nice dialogue with someone in another window on MySpace, which I allowed to taper off.

The discovery changed my mood. I immediately felt that sinking feeling I used to feel sometimes - maybe you've felt something like it. It's like when you see something that startles you and your chest tightens and then you can't breathe in enough oxygen. I used to hyperventilate (Becky was always great during these episodes), but that did get better over time. The sensation moves low in one's belly and makes a little kick toward the spine. Then you feel that uneasiness that comes with moments like car accidents or injuries. For me, it usually is paired up with the a feeling of panic - the escapist searching for that 'flight' possibility.

I did look at his page - morbid curiosity got the best of me - and he now lives in a different state. I've been getting quite comfortable back in the Detroit area, but there was always a part of me that worried a little that I might run into him at some bar or another. Now I can rest assured that the probability of that is rather small.

While I emerged from that situation years ago unscathed - MOSTLY anyway - it still hits me from time to time that danger can lurk behind the facade of friendship. And although I could harbor anger and hatred toward this person, I don't. I can't go to that point and be thrilled that he is married and seems to have a good life, but I honestly don't want to spend my life wishing some other person ill will. I don't know if I've completely forgiven him in my mind - it's all just a bit too hazy, and I choose NOT to part the clouds and examine the issue. That is just how I am wired, but I can move forward with the wonderful things in my life. If I see him somewhere, I can simply tell him to 'walk away' as I had done when we had a class in common my senior year of college.

The situation did yield some interesting lessons. I learned about drunk frat boys/men and my own abilities when backed into a corner. Even when someone shows you evil or violence or whatever, one should at least find solace in the notion that they have witnessed it and can take care of him or herself appropriately. I am pretty sure he learned a thing or two, as well. At least I hope he did.

I wonder if his wife knows his secrets. I know of three women (myself included) who know who and what this man truly is/was...and what he thought he could try to get away with in college. Ass Hole + Massive quantities of alcohol + one caring designated driver/friend = disaster for the DD.

1. Never allow yourself to fall asleep if you are looking after someone who has been drinking.
2. Never watch someone alone - if the other people want to leave, make those people look after said person or come up with a new plan.
3. Take a self-defense course - you'll be glad you did. I am.
4. If something does happen - call the police immediately. Don't try to reason with the person after the fact - they won't remember it clearly anyway, and it will turn into 'He said/she said' scenario.

Even though the sinking feeling has dissipated, I don't think I will look for Donald tonight. I've had my fill of discoveries for the night.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

"...A pretty nice little Saturday..."

I had lunch with Joe today, which was lovely. It was nice to catch up and learn what we missed as the years rolled by. I considered making this a Frank the Tank sort of day with promises of a trip to Home Depot and Bed, Bath, & Beyond (if I had enough time), but I just don't know about that right now. I do need to get nails, hooks, and screws to hang several pictures in my townhouse, and I want to go look for a kitchen scale at BB&B.

Instead, I stopped to see my aunt and uncle in Canton. My uncles, dad, and cousin were busy reassembling the garage (they moved it further back and off to one side a bit to accommodate the new camper and vehicles). I visited with them for a while and found myself feeling comfortable yet distanced from these people.

I can still go to the store. I have basically missed the art fair - I was more interested in walking around Ann Arbor, which I can do tonight with friends or this coming week. I also want to do some photography, both digital AND film. I am feeling that artistic spark again. Is anyone interested in exploring with me? I would love the company, plus I could practice portraits (of course with an artsy slant).

At the moment, I've returned home to check email and waste time filling out surveys. I am waiting to hear back from several people. If you'd like to do something tonight, please call or email me.

Saturday morning thoughts

Thought #1
I have been oversleeping this week. This is completely out of the norm for me, as I usually don't sleep much. I went to Ann Arbor last night with Reenee and her boyfriend. We had a great time. I just want to go back today. The trouble is finding someone who will go with me - I really don't want to go alone. The crowd didn't bother me, which is nice. I tend to shy away from events like this because I can't handle being around so many people.I am still waiting to hear back from someone to see if he'd like to join me today.

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Thought #2
Even though he is an older man, Harvey Keitel is quite sexy. I had never noticed before.

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Thought #3
Yoga is doing wonders for my overactive mind. I can't remember a time when I felt this peaceful about everything.

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Thought #4
I want to take up knitting. I love repetitious hobbies, and some of my favorite scarves and sweaters were knitted by family and friends just for me. How nifty would I be if I could return the favor?

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Thought #5
One of my pieces, a (long) short story needs a bit more work. I need to form a writing group here so that I don't embarrass myself by sending it out to an agent when it still needs something. Any interested folks out there?

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Thought #6
I can't wait to decorate my classroom. I miss the regulated life of teaching. I miss taking classes (which I am certain will stress me out this fall). I will be teaching full time, taking a full-time load of graduate classes, helping with German Club and other activities(including tutoring), and probably finding a part-time job. When I am this busy, I am the best student - I made the undergrad Dean's list like this, and I've been a 4.0 graduate student at both WMU and BSU with this same sort of schedule. Now it's time to take that same intensity to my official (current) grad program.

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Thought #7
I miss Jeremy. I hate that he has to be away for so long this summer. On the other hand, when he is away, I drop weight like there's no tomorrow. I eat healthier, I exercise more, I find ways to fill my time with friends (you're all sick of me, I'm sure!).

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Thought #8
Maybe I will have my wedding and reception in Charlevoix - at Castle Farms. I don't think I need a castle, but hey, it's an option.

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Thought #9
I need to hang my pictures. Perhaps I will do that tomorrow. I can invite my parents over for lunch, and then they will help me line everything up properly. I do spend a lot of time with my family. It's hard to believe that I ever felt that I needed to 'escape'. Maybe it's a good thing I went away to college when I did. I don't think I would be as close to them as I am now if I had not done that.

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Thought #10
I may buy that slip cover for my couch today. This place needs something...it's a bit drab, and I am NOT a drab girl. I will then paint my end tables and the TV table black.

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I think I will limit myself to these ten, for the moment. There are so many more, but I could end up sitting at the computer the rest of the day. I'd rather go walking around Ann Arbor.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Has it really been this long?

I just looked at the date of my last post. OMG! Has it really been that long?

I haven't been up to much, but I am anticipating some good times are about to roll again. Mike A. visited on Tuesday...I did well at my concert on Wednesday, although it was nothing special. Then I went to BW3 with Mike A. and Mike V. MV and I hit a couple of bars in Plymouth afterward. I was drunk, AS USUAL. It's strange to feel that pull toward intoxication being your "normal" frame of mind when out with certain friends (thank you, MV, for remaining sober and driving!!!). I was able to put that in check when I lived in Florida, but here, I am embracing the freedom that summer vacation brings.

I had to drop Jeremy off at the airport Wednesday afternoon, which was a little depressing, but I understand that this is how the industry works.

This weekend is Teresa's birthday; I just need to figure out which day she asked about taking a canoe down a river. (Isn't that a unique way to spend your birthday?) I have been asked to join someone for lunch, and I need to make sure I wouldn't be double-booking the day. Plus, my mother has been a bit focused on "bringing the family closer" since we've had a few deaths in the family recently, most notably and most recently my Uncle Bill. So, I have to almost clear my plans with her before committing to others. How weird parents can be...

Anyway, back to my previous thought, September and October don't really offer the same opportunities, although a hay ride or something might be a different change of pace (hint-hint, Jeremy). My birthday these last five years have been downright depressing. One year, I helped Jeremy move. Another year, no one called me until after 10 PM to wish me a "great day" (I had already had a bottle of wine alone and had decided to go to bed early). Last year, my mother bought my sister's favorite cake and then bought a gift that was too small (and, when pointed out, she said, "Oh, I didn't think you were that fat that you would need a bigger size!"). I think I could go for a nice middle-of-the-road mediocre birthday, at least. One with a cake (that I actually might eat) and gifts that suit me.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Jogging = Equilibrium

I went for a jog tonight - it really cleared my head. I only made it three quarters of a mile before I had to just walk for a while, but that is definitely progress! My knee is not hurting at all, either (I've been taking glucosamine tablets for the past week). I had forgotten how balanced I used to feel when I exercised like this. I just have to keep this up!

I would love to find someone to walk with around here. James, if you find yourself lonely on your walks, please stop by. I'd love to walk and talk.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Heidelberg and other completely disjointed ideas

I recently learned that The Heidelberg in Ann Arbor is quite a venue. Club upstairs, nice restaurant on the main floor, and a traditional Rathskeller downstairs. They serve beer in a 3-liter glass boot!

I was going to attend the Ann Arbor Poetry Slam tonight, but I decided it might be good to stay in and organize my spare room (I rearranged the furniture so that I can set up ALL of my instruments). There's always the next one - the last Tuesday of July. Perhaps someone who reads this is interested in going with me. If so, please just comment, and I may be able to accommodate. I think I am more interested in the Rathskeller, to be honest. I still enjoy poetry readings and poetry slams (I should invite James D. to the next one, too).

As far as my spare room goes, I am in the process of collecting several bins of items to sell and donate. I think Jeremy will be shocked at the sparse look. I am tired of being tied to all of this junk. Welcome back that part of me that could be and leave all worldly possessions behind and travel the world (now, I have flight benefits, so this is KIND OF possible).

I spoke to Jesse today - next year, he will have the classroom right next to mine!!! He and I are planning to set up the 12th grade English curriculum within the next month - with the other English 12 teacher (complete with common consequences and procedures). He is one of the most creative and energetic people I know, and he says the same of me. What an awesome friend he has become! We will have a solid senior English program next year. He is even helping me to procure more German items (as I will also be teaching German 1 again). He will be leaving for Germany in a couple of weeks to stay with some friends, and he plans to bring me back a bunch of stuff to use for classroom decor. Meanwhile, I am helping him to find items that will go well with his theme - I've already told him he can use my inflatable palm tree and a box of other similar items. Hell, I can even pass along some of my more exotic plants, namely small tropical trees, when the weather changes and I have to bring them inside. I am really looking forward to this upcoming year.

As far as German planning, if I use the same items from this year, I am set. However, I want to introduce a much more student-centered and student-run approach that will follow the immersion format a little more closely than what my mentor has done, although I will use just about everything I did last year. I've already created my prototypes of documents and charts, complete with games and cultural activities (perhaps I will fly into Germany soon and spend some time learning drinking songs - it truly is a possibility now! I'm just waiting for my nice new passport.).

MV is recording more music. I'll have to get my hands on this CD, as well. Maybe soon he'll find himself a career in it and talk about when he "used to be an English teacher". More on that as times goes on.

I've finished several short stories recently, which feels really great. One has turned into something larger, but I am not sure how far it will go. Perhaps at some point soon I will share these writings with the world. They still seem too fragile yet. I am eagerly awaiting the poetry anthology that has another published piece within it. I know these things are mostly scams - but I chose this one because of the focus on education and its usefulness in my writing classroom. I find their purpose to be a good one, so I consider it a win-win. I am published, I paid my little fee for a book (there's no entry fee), and that money will hopefully go toward a student scholarship or contest award.

Other things...I need to hurry up and become active in the American Association of Teacher of German. They offer MANY opportunities for teachers to go to classes in Germany and travel throughout Europe on THEIR dime (well, my dime, as I have to pay dues). They also have some fairly substantial scholarships and awards for students.

I am also looking into the Student Ambassador program. I'd get to travel all over the world as a chaperone. This could be great for the summer or extended vacations. I don't mind keeping an eye on kids, and I want to travel. I'm sure I could find endless inspiration.

I found a very interesting (and FREE) site to track my fitness progress. I wish I were in the financial shape to hire people to show up and prepare food and scream at me like a drill sergeant to get my ass in shape, but seeing as I am not, I will have to make due. I think I will be able to get this going. I am walking and doing yoga already; the jogging is taking a toll on my knee, so I will have to cut back on that for now - just till I am in better shape, I suppose.

I feel like I have ADD today. It's time to get back to the spare room. My break is over, and I've still got a lot to do.