Some friends of mine had something to say about someone else who wasn't at a recent gathering. I felt the need to defend him, even though what they were saying could be seen as true from an outside perspective. They said that he isn't happy unless he is complaining.
I was very bothered by this because I have been around this individual when he's been happy, and I didn't like that others couldn't see him that way. I jumped in to defend him and then realized that my reality and friendship with this person are quite different from others' realities and friendships with him. I felt honored that I know him differently, but I also felt stupid that I assumed everyone must see this side of him.
In any case, I hate being thrown into that role - as defender - because other people want to discuss someone who isn't there to defend him- or herself. It doesn't make for the most enjoyable gatherings, but when people know where some limits are, I suppose it sets the tone for what is right and wrong. I guess I don't mind being the person who sets that precedent.
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