I had another day that just didn't feel worth the effort. To top it off, a friend sent me a rather nasty message to tell me he thinks I am a terrible friend because I didn't call him over the past few months. I had sent him messages, but he felt that communicating on something like Facebook was somehow less than good enough for him (keep in mind - he sent me this message through Facebook). Apparently, he feels that I am low enough for Facebook, though.
I hate when friendships need so much work. He claimed that he would have been supportive and yada yada yada. The fact is that he never called and he knew that my life was falling apart around me. He knew this because I had told him, in person. He sent me a message to call him a week later, but I couldn't do anything during that week - I had too many things going on in my life, not to mention feeling my life come apart at the seams.
He wrote that he needs time to cool off, so I should call him later on. I don't know how much time he needs.
This feels so stupid. Friends are friends when they can be. Josh told me that true friends are the ones who will listen to you time and time again when everything falls apart. They will listen and be kind and not kick you when you're down. They won't try to pawn you off on to someone else. When Josh's fiancee left him, he was distraught for months. His friends listened and let him heal and didn't give him commentary about how he had made wrong choices in the relationship.
E. made comments and then claims he would have been supportive. That's complete garbage.
True, I didn't call him and ask if he and his wife wanted to get together. I wasn't in a place to do that. A true friend would have realized this - not only because of my break-up, but also because I was having some health and behavior problems. Grad school and working were the only things I could try to keep stable. And we all know what happened with my district this year.
So, I am having a lousy day. I am trying not to let his negative comments get to me, but the words sting and I am a lot weaker than I used to be. I can't stop crying. I so desperately want to talk to someone about this, but it's late, and I don't want to continue to run to others when I need help. I have to find a way to deal with this on my own. I just don't think I can do it.
I just deleted three paragraphs. I just can't let you in to the rest of what I am experiencing.
3 comments:
The days will get better. You just need to shift focus. It's tough though. It sucks to dwell on things we cannot change. I wish you all the best.
Thank you, Joe. You have really been there for me this year. You have no idea how much you have helped me, especially during my darkest and most troubling times.
I had a friend pull that crap on me once. The fact is that it takes TWO people to not call. And guess what? Sometimes no one feels like calling for awhile. It happens. People hibernate. He was obviously hibernating, too.
Also, social media totally counts. Following someone's day in real time is pretty darned intimate, which is the blessing and the curse of social media.
Sounds like your friend needs to get laid and lighten up :)
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