I often dream of moving away. I think I may have been on the right track when Jeremy and I moved to Florida. There were 1200 miles separating me from my family. I was able to establish myself in a new place - new friends, new career, new pets, etc.
My parents are here right now. I don't mind so much that my dad is working on many of the things my uncle had left unfinished and in disrepair. My dad and I see eye-to-eye on many different things.
My mother is the one human being who can set me off no matter how much we are getting along. She constantly criticizes everything in my life - my choices, my appearance, my behavior, my home (things that are mine and not mine). I can never seem to get beyond feeling like garbage when I am around her. She is nosy and always wants to know everything. I can't share anything with her without her finding a way to attack me.
She tells me things I don't need to know. I explained that I need time to get my homework done. She tells me to "Go and do your homework. I'll work on this." She keeps interrupting to tell me her ideas about my life, as well as where she is headed next in my home.
I'm unhappy. There are few moments when things don't seem so horrible, but those moments are few and far between. I put a lot of pressure on myself, even when others don't to find happiness or, at least, some sensation that isn't misery.
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