Self-indulgent whining.
I am frustrated this evening.
I am becoming ill. I feel it in my sinuses. I feel in my shoulders. I feel it in my shins. Time is not on my side. I had to make a mad dash to te post office this morning because we didn't have any stamps left. Jeremy only gets called into work one day a week, and he had said that he would buy stamps a couple of weeks ago (he has used every last one of mine). Unfortunately, he did not make good on this promise and I had to get things in the mail today, which meant I had to pull myself together with all of the housecleaning and laundry and drive all over creation to get where I needed.
I stopped by the store on my way to buy a couple of items that Jeremy had already used throughout the week, despite the fact that he has a freezer full of chicken and turkey. Sometimes, I don't think he cares that I buy things for me, too. I usually pick up the tab for groceries (he never seems to have money after his loan payment), and he eats the majority of the food. He uses everything I NEED for my lunches, and neglects the items I buy for him. I cannot eat these items, as I am a vegetarian.
I am not made of money. I took a pay cut to move to this side of the state, and he just keeps finding ways for me to use all of my cash. Shelves. Food. Storage bins because he can't afford a dresser yet. Food. Toiletries. Food. A bike so he won't have to ride alone. More food.
I have nothing to eat for dinner - at least none of the stuff I purchased for myself. I am determined to not order anything, so I think I will be eating corn and broccoli with a side of cereal with milk I hope has not yet turned (the expiration date was a couple of days ago).
Jeremy offered to make enchiladas (I fucking HATE enchilada sauce - which I tell him every time he wants me to buy it). I'm sure he will use all of the cheddar. He doesn't seem to know how to make proper portions with anything.
I considered labeling all of my food, but wouldn't that make me a total bitch?
We went to the hardware store to buy weather stripping for our front door. Guess who paid? Guess who drove? Guess who always drives?
Oh, and his food is almost ready. He just offered to go pick up a pizza or something for me when he is done eating.
He hasn't been like this in a long time...what is going on?
2 comments:
He is a guy. We are all like that.
Honestly, I wish I could say that. But unfortunately in this case it may not be true.
I went through something similar in my marriage.
I do not wish to elaborate on that now. However, I can honestly say I look back on those little things and wonder why the He** I ever dealt with that crap in the first place.
I believed it was my right and duty to tolerate such things as I "loved" her (even before she was my wife). But now I realize I should not have tolerated some of her actions.
I should have realized back then that though I thought I loved her, and I wanted to marry her, it was just not right.
Living together (whether married or not) has an unusual way of bringing out the true colors and personalities of people. It is up to us to decide if we want to conform to each other, or willingly compromise.
I NOW believe that if I ever have to conform or compromise to someone else behaviors, and it makes me uncomfortable, irritable, or whatever to do so, then the relationship is just not right.
I NOW realize that there are a lot of great people in this world, and I made a big mistake, just because I had a desire to be married, among other things.
WOW... Sorry. I am in no way trying to be a downer.
It is just that when I see or read of events that are similar to the crap that I went through, I start spewing my opinions and one sided advice.
I was Hurt Badly, and lived with Tons undue stress trying to conform to her needs. I realize now I should never have had to deal with that stress. I thought it was natural in relationships, but now I believe it is not.
I see so many healthy relationships that do not deal with what I was dealing with.
Now I am being redundant.
I do feel bad that You have to deal with things that add unnecessary stress to your life. I hope you two can find a way to work that mutually.
And sorry you have to deal with one of my "James trying to save the world" comments/posts. :)
I hope you are doing well otherwise.
relationships are work, work that both people have to do, if one dose not do any of it well it is not a working relationship. you need to nip this in the bud and quick before it takes a trip down ugly street.
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