So, I've had an extremely stressful week and all I want to do is take a nap and then finish grading my students' papers tonight. I have a grad paper due early next week, and I haven't been able to finish reading the theory or the novel.
I drive home, eager to escape the nightmare that is teaching, and Jeremy has a buddy over. Did he clean anything? Did he do his laundry? Did he even clear a spot for me to work? No. Typical.
I can't even view an educational DVD I may use with my students because he and his friend are playing video games. They want me to drive them to the Heidelberg in Ann Arbor later tonight, when all I want to do is get something...anything done.
I think we might have our house guest until tomorrow, and his fiancee is driving out tonight. What the hell!?! How fucking inconsiderate!
This weekend, I have to complete report card grades, read literary theory, read a novel, write a 6-page paper, make lesson plans (including one formal one for my evaluation on Tuesday), set up for my concert, perform on Sunday, get some wedding planning done, clean EVERYTHING!, write letters to parents to explain some of the grading policy changes my school will adopt, and a variety of other things. Jeremy is also leaving on Sunday for three weeks, so I know he expects me to spend time with him.
Perhaps I will just take off with my uke. It feels like one of those days. I really just want to bash in his skull with it, but then I'd have to buy a new ukulele.
4 comments:
I so badly want to speak my mind right now. But I do not think that even I could be as bold as to type what I am thinking.
Okay. Maybe I can. I apologize in advance for being an ASS.
The more I read your posts the more I become concerned that are getting married because of 2 reasons. (1) You feel you have reached that stage in your life. You feel that you are ready to get married, so you are. (2) From your writing it appears that you are only settling for Jeremy. It appears that deep down you want something else for your life, but have settled for this. I would venture to guess that you have a fear of ever finding anyone else that will accept you for you, quirks, concerns, fears and all. After so many years of being with one person you have learned to be comfortable with that person, and have adjusted your life accordingly.
But what do I know. Nothing really. I hope I am wrong. But if I am not it would not be the first time that someone I know fell into the exact same trap as you would be.
In any case, look out for you. It is concerning that you seem to rant about Jeremy more then praise him. You find Joy in describing your wedding ideas and plans, but never seem to relate that to the one you are going to marry. You seem to have good times with friends when Jeremy is out of town, but rarely describe the good times you have when he is here.
It also seems that your emotional unrest seems to be associated with you future life plans.
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Blah. ignore me.
It is friday. I need to find something more productive to do.
In any case, I hope you feel less frustrated at your posted situation by the time you read this.
I'm so sorry sweetie! That is incredibly rude! You can always come to my place for some quiet time to get work done!
I apologize for my posting. I am not sure where my mind was yesterday.
After I posted that, I left work and ran into my EX.
The evening then continued with a breakup of me and my girlfried. I am still not 100% sure that I made the right decision about that.
I used to drink these stupid emotional things away on the weekends. I have no desire to drink now though.
There is no need for you to apologize for your posting. I know you are just looking out for me. I am completely frustrated with everything lately, and I just needed to rant a little. That's primarily what I use this thing for. I understand that it probably makes me sound a lot more unhappy than I really am.
I will say that I am displeased with some of the details of my life. I am currently working to fix those things.
Beyond that, I am sorry to learn you and your girlfriend split up. If you need anything, just let me know.
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