Today felt like a bad day. The weirdest part is that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the day. I enjoyed myself here and there with reading and talking and writing. It was a rather full day, to say the least.
I didn't sleep last night, not one wink. I stared at the ceiling mostly, then at my various alarm clocks, then at the ceiling again. I was really bummed when one alarm sounded. I thought to myself that it would be great to try to get some sleep then. I reset the alarm and just continued to stare - this time at the wall next to the bed. I feel congested, but I am in good spirits.
When the alarm sounded again, I hopped up to do some laundry and get ready for the day.
I arrived at work early and proceeded to wait in line to make copies. When the machine was running, I quickly ventured off to print an attendance form and return (I was away for approximately one minute). I found another teacher had stopped the copier and had decided to start using it. His wife, (another teacher who really used to be a close friend) basically told me that I can't "take up" the copier when other people need it (there are two others in the same room that weren't being used). I was so irritated with this comment. I explained that I had stepped away from it simply because the copies were running and I needed to get something, much like she had done the week prior (and, for the record, I did not stop her copies!). I can't believe what rude, self-important people I work with.
Number one, I had been waiting in line since 6:20 AM. It was 7:00. She and her husband should have shown up early and waited like the rest of us.
Number two, I was using the machine for papers I needed first hour. I wasn't "taking up" a copier.
My students weren't working to their fullest capability today, either, except for my general English kids. I was shocked. They were polite and helpful and focused. Did Hell freeze over last night or something? What did I miss?
I worked on typing an exam for the end of the semester. I also typed up some items for my grad class. Class went by quickly. I like that our class has a distinct community feel to it. We have our routines and we all seem to get along. Jason and I walk back our cars (in the poorly-lit faraway lot), talking about our classrooms, and sometimes our mutual friends (Eve, namely).
I came home and still didn't want dinner. I know I need to eat something, but it feels way too late to eat. I have only a few papers to grade, but I feel like curling up and reading Dante's Inferno (again). It must be because my students are still reading The Odyssey. I prefer The Inferno. I think it tells a much more intellectual tale of one man's journey.
Anyway, I think I might go read for a while now. I am considering getting a bunch of Young Adult novels to read soon. I used to have a small collection when I taught in Florida, but I left most of those books there. I wish I would have at least brought Cut with me. I never got to read all of the books in my collection, but students asked for them, and I felt that the books would serve a greater purpose in their hands.
How can I still feel like today is a bad day? Nothing bad happened.
Well, I take that back. I wouldn't say something "bad" happened, but I missed my friend. I thought about him a lot today. I feel so far from where we were and who we were when we stopped speaking. I don't know what the deal is with me. I'm not feeling depressed about the situation; on the contrary, I am feeling that missing him is positive. We need to be going our separate directions at this point in our lives. There must just have been something in the air that made me think of him.
Am I mourning the loss of November? November was quite good, full of old and new memories and old and new friends. This fall has been a great one. I can't remember the last time I felt so connected to people and events. It has been a non-stop fun fest. Maybe I'm afraid December won't follow suit...December is a different beast entirely.
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