ANGER

I have some anger issues I need to work out. I don't want to make anyone a target, so I've mostly been keeping to myself. I feel stressed and frustrated about where my life is headed. This is nothing new; I am simply in touch with my feelings in a way that I haven't been for some time. I think it is important to stay away from people, as much as possible, so that I can allow myself the time and attention to process these feelings, rather than bottling them up. Bottling them lead to the last big disaster of my life, and I don't wish to repeat history.

Along with this anger comes a very strong sadness. I feel a loss that is so deep that I don't know how to stomach it.

I think a lot of things hit me this year, and I didn't know how to approach any of them. I was so overwhelmed with emotions and physical ailments that I just sort of flipped out. I am angry with myself for letting these thing happen to me and even more angry at myself for acting out in ways that were inappropriate for the situation I was in.

I can feel myself coming back to center, but the view is entirely different. I am not the person I was. I am not the person I was before things fell apart. I am someone else. I dislike defining moments for their very nature shakes my already unstable ground. I am angry. I am full on tension. I am unsure of many steps ahead, although the next few seem incredibly clear. So, I need to focus only on completing those next few steps (no, this is not an AA thing). Once those are done, I can move on to the next.