The very worst part of summer are the days that are so hot that I am lethargic. Because I don't accomplish a lot, I feel depressed. It's probably the balance of having an incredible month last month. There has to be some down time.
I started something, or at least it felt like I started something with someone. I worry that I was wrong. I worry that I will never again feel the way I did a long time ago when life made sense.
I'm also depressed because I temporarily stopped taking the overload of vitamins I have been ordered to take every day. The pills make me feel sick, so I think I need to find liquid forms again. The liquid vitamins are more expensive and difficult to match dosages, though, and I need consistency more than anything. I keep thinking that I've improved my diet sufficiently that I can cut back on these things, but that is still not the case. I become emotional, needy, and very depressed. It takes a few days of vitamins to get back to normal. My doctors tell me that if I don't get this into a solid routine, I might have to actually start taking medication for this issue. I understand Situational Depression is an issue, but I refuse to take anything that will alter the chemistry of my brain. Plus, if I am still struggling with taking vitamins in pill form on a daily basis, what makes them think that I will take medication with more enthusiasm?
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