I set up an interview with one of the best school districts in Michigan for a .8 German/World Languages position at a middle school. While I feel confident that the job would be fun and I'd be comfortable teaching the subject matter (despite the BASIC Spanish that I'd have to teach for 3 weeks), the fact that it is .8 does worry me. The extra time off each day would be conducive to my full grad schedule, but the lowered income would be a concern. The district may offer tuition reimbursement that could actually make this job worth it in the long run, though.
My current district offers nothing as far as tuition reimbursement even though I am REQUIRED to gone on for more education. I currently do not receive any sort of funding for any professional development. Other districts in which I have worked have always allocated money for this - it's standard operating procedure - even at the Catholic school where I wasn't paid enough to live.
The interview carries with it the idea that that district in northern Oakland county is one that would be great to work for. The 95% college entrance rate for graduates is impressive for any public school district. I could be very happy spending the rest of my career in a community that values education.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
Read
Visit Reenee's blog and find out how creepy Mike's "Not-A-Boss" is!
Having grown up around a photographer, as well as his affiliates and various studios and forums/organizations, this photographer's behavior is uncharacteristic and totally unprofessional.
Having grown up around a photographer, as well as his affiliates and various studios and forums/organizations, this photographer's behavior is uncharacteristic and totally unprofessional.
Teeth
I am having the recurring theme of losing my teeth in my dreams. While the dream is always different, losing teeth is always the same. This last dream was so realistic that when I woke, I was completely shocked to learn that I still have my teeth.
Perhaps I should just stop sleeping altogether.
Perhaps I should just stop sleeping altogether.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
The Return of C-boy
I finished watching The English Patient and decided to check my email. I was thrilled when I opened it and saw that I had received a message from C-boy. If you aren't aware of who C-boy is and the odd story there, I am sorry; I am going to leave you in the dark.
As I opened the email, I was greeted with a brief message about his having to endure his first day of teaching for the school year tomorrow (he's a recent transplant to the south and his school year is starting quite early). After this little declaration, he spewed a small string of profanity that just brightened my day. An excerpt from that message: fuck shit piss. How can one not laugh at that?
Since he had started dating a woman at work last school year, he and I hadn't really had a chance to hang out. We had been hanging out regularly up to that point. It takes him a while to warm up to people, and he has a terrific sense of humor. I had actually forgotten that until I read his message.
I have no doubt his female students, as well as his gay male students, are going to be experiencing crushes and such quite soon. The students at my school were heart-broken to learn that he was not going to return next year.
I hope to hear from him again soon. And I hope he kept one of the congratulation posters I made of him and posted around the school to hang in his classroom. I enlarged two pictures from my HS yearbooks(his freshman and sophomore years when he had long hair and definitely looked like a total stoner), and posted them where everyone could see them. He was very pleased that I had done that. I would be horrified if my HS pictures made it out into the general population (well, I MIGHT allow my senior pictures but certainly not freshman year).
It sucks that another one of my drinking buddies is gone. He'll just have to visit, or I will have to fly down to Atlanta (I can do that for free!), and we will hit the bars there. That could be a fun, little adventure.
That's probably a bad idea.
As I opened the email, I was greeted with a brief message about his having to endure his first day of teaching for the school year tomorrow (he's a recent transplant to the south and his school year is starting quite early). After this little declaration, he spewed a small string of profanity that just brightened my day. An excerpt from that message: fuck shit piss. How can one not laugh at that?
Since he had started dating a woman at work last school year, he and I hadn't really had a chance to hang out. We had been hanging out regularly up to that point. It takes him a while to warm up to people, and he has a terrific sense of humor. I had actually forgotten that until I read his message.
I have no doubt his female students, as well as his gay male students, are going to be experiencing crushes and such quite soon. The students at my school were heart-broken to learn that he was not going to return next year.
I hope to hear from him again soon. And I hope he kept one of the congratulation posters I made of him and posted around the school to hang in his classroom. I enlarged two pictures from my HS yearbooks(his freshman and sophomore years when he had long hair and definitely looked like a total stoner), and posted them where everyone could see them. He was very pleased that I had done that. I would be horrified if my HS pictures made it out into the general population (well, I MIGHT allow my senior pictures but certainly not freshman year).
It sucks that another one of my drinking buddies is gone. He'll just have to visit, or I will have to fly down to Atlanta (I can do that for free!), and we will hit the bars there. That could be a fun, little adventure.
That's probably a bad idea.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants
This is not eloquent or planned...I just made a connection with a book, and I thought I'd explore it...
I wouldn't call my uncle Bill's death 'untimely'. My uncle Bill was just entering his 80s and had been ill for some time. The last time I visited him, his 6-foot body was quite frail at a meager 130 pounds. You may remember reading something about that on my MySpace blog. He still had his pleasantness about him, even though he could have been angry that he would soon be taken from everyone in his family. He was decently aware, despite the Alzheimer's. He may not have been able to speak all that loudly or know all of our names if tested, but he always knew that we were family and that we belonged near him.
Several people spoke at the service. First, a chaplain from the hospice center read some prepared statements from several family members and friends. The first was from an old military buddy whom he had befriended during WWII while they both were still in boot camp. This man couldn't make the trip, but he let us all in on how they had formed two lives that intertwined so many people and decades. The man had actually set up my uncle on a blind date with his fiancee's best friend, Shirley (my aunt). We listened to stories about golf outings and my uncle's hideous plaid and patchwork golf pants.
These same pants also showed up in the tale from my uncle Gary. He relayed how he and my dad spent so much time with my aunt and uncle as kids (my dad was actually born after my aunt and uncle married - how crazy is that!?!). He made up nicknames like Gar-hart and Will-helm and called them both 'girls'. My uncle and my father, being the youngest of seven, grew up with my uncle Bill being a brother to them - not a brother-in-law. He was always a fixed point in the family. As they grew older, he took them golfing, and my uncle Gary would make fun of the ugly golf pants my uncle seemed to treasure.
My cousins, Uncle Bill's daughters, spoke next. I wasn't expecting K. to share a funny story about her parents and their odd forms of fighting, but it was good to remember that they were both extremely unique people. During an argument one year, my aunt left to go shopping. She found a carved piece of wood in the shape of a hand flipping the bird. She bought it and would move it around the home at eye level to signal that she was upset with him. While this sent a message, it in turn, helped her find humor in the most frustrating situations. T. spoke next and used her time to share more sentimental ideas that she isn't really known for expressing. The loss of her husband in a semi v. man accident in 2005 has definitely made her a much more compassionate person. I've always known her to be brash and a little detached from emotion, but it simply poured out of her.
My uncle was cremated and the urn sat on a counter near a poster covered with images from his life. The pants even made it, although they are now sealed in a glass frame.
The annual family golf tournament, which has always been a "quest for the pants", is now to be named after my uncle. Many of my uncles and one cousin have "won" this award. My father won them, even, and decided to 'slim down' so that he could actually put them on. Those hideous plaid and patchwork pants have been passed on, year after year, from relatives to friends and back again. These pants have united generations within my family, and I am grateful that the men will continue to have something that my uncle Bill could leave behind - not only an annual golf tournament prize but a sense that they belong to something larger.
I wouldn't call my uncle Bill's death 'untimely'. My uncle Bill was just entering his 80s and had been ill for some time. The last time I visited him, his 6-foot body was quite frail at a meager 130 pounds. You may remember reading something about that on my MySpace blog. He still had his pleasantness about him, even though he could have been angry that he would soon be taken from everyone in his family. He was decently aware, despite the Alzheimer's. He may not have been able to speak all that loudly or know all of our names if tested, but he always knew that we were family and that we belonged near him.
Several people spoke at the service. First, a chaplain from the hospice center read some prepared statements from several family members and friends. The first was from an old military buddy whom he had befriended during WWII while they both were still in boot camp. This man couldn't make the trip, but he let us all in on how they had formed two lives that intertwined so many people and decades. The man had actually set up my uncle on a blind date with his fiancee's best friend, Shirley (my aunt). We listened to stories about golf outings and my uncle's hideous plaid and patchwork golf pants.
These same pants also showed up in the tale from my uncle Gary. He relayed how he and my dad spent so much time with my aunt and uncle as kids (my dad was actually born after my aunt and uncle married - how crazy is that!?!). He made up nicknames like Gar-hart and Will-helm and called them both 'girls'. My uncle and my father, being the youngest of seven, grew up with my uncle Bill being a brother to them - not a brother-in-law. He was always a fixed point in the family. As they grew older, he took them golfing, and my uncle Gary would make fun of the ugly golf pants my uncle seemed to treasure.
My cousins, Uncle Bill's daughters, spoke next. I wasn't expecting K. to share a funny story about her parents and their odd forms of fighting, but it was good to remember that they were both extremely unique people. During an argument one year, my aunt left to go shopping. She found a carved piece of wood in the shape of a hand flipping the bird. She bought it and would move it around the home at eye level to signal that she was upset with him. While this sent a message, it in turn, helped her find humor in the most frustrating situations. T. spoke next and used her time to share more sentimental ideas that she isn't really known for expressing. The loss of her husband in a semi v. man accident in 2005 has definitely made her a much more compassionate person. I've always known her to be brash and a little detached from emotion, but it simply poured out of her.
My uncle was cremated and the urn sat on a counter near a poster covered with images from his life. The pants even made it, although they are now sealed in a glass frame.
The annual family golf tournament, which has always been a "quest for the pants", is now to be named after my uncle. Many of my uncles and one cousin have "won" this award. My father won them, even, and decided to 'slim down' so that he could actually put them on. Those hideous plaid and patchwork pants have been passed on, year after year, from relatives to friends and back again. These pants have united generations within my family, and I am grateful that the men will continue to have something that my uncle Bill could leave behind - not only an annual golf tournament prize but a sense that they belong to something larger.
The weekend belongs to Mesaba
Jeremy just received a call to report to work tomorrow morning. While it is great that he will be earning money, he was told he would have at least one more week before being called. Apparently, Detroit is in need of on-call first officers and so they decided to call in Jeremy, who is actually based in Memphis for August. It is good that he will probably spend the month flying trips that he wouldn't normally get (and they'll be out of Metro) until his official base change to Detroit on September 1st. I am just irritated because I canceled plans with friends to accommodate a trip to Chicago. I don't think I will get my little vacation at all this year. I may either fly or drive out to the west Michigan coast later in the weekend to see him (he will overnight in a decent little town and that could be different). Until then, maybe I will get to visit with MV. I also will probably visit with the folks and discuss wedding budget stuff (yeah, they said they'd 'help' but I need to know what that really mean$).
I think I may also use this time to plan my lessons for September. There is no sense in waiting - Jeremy will be home again early next week, and I would rather use that time to visit with him.
I think I may also use this time to plan my lessons for September. There is no sense in waiting - Jeremy will be home again early next week, and I would rather use that time to visit with him.
The way we were
I miss how we were before we started the whole wedding-planning nightmare. Today, our arguing has shifted from venues to guest lists.
We will be happy with almost any venue, although our first choice location was only available on a Friday night. This wouldn't work well, as it is so far away, and most people wouldn't be able to get there. It has a beautiful view and very affordable catering and other services. I just wish Saturday was available. That is only day that we could really have a wedding so far away and still have our families and friends show up.
The main issue now is that there are people on my list of friends who Jeremy does not want at the wedding and reception. This will be an uphill battle. I know money is tight, but I'd like to have some of these friends there. Jeremy will not budge on taking these individuals off the list. Some are obvious reasons; some are not so obvious. We've now reached the point of just staying quiet about the subject. I know I need to respect his concerns, but these people are friends and I'd like for them to be included in the celebration. Oh, what am I to do? I will probably make him take several people I'd rather not see off of his list of friends. I hate that that would be a compromise. It just seems spiteful and immature.
We will be happy with almost any venue, although our first choice location was only available on a Friday night. This wouldn't work well, as it is so far away, and most people wouldn't be able to get there. It has a beautiful view and very affordable catering and other services. I just wish Saturday was available. That is only day that we could really have a wedding so far away and still have our families and friends show up.
The main issue now is that there are people on my list of friends who Jeremy does not want at the wedding and reception. This will be an uphill battle. I know money is tight, but I'd like to have some of these friends there. Jeremy will not budge on taking these individuals off the list. Some are obvious reasons; some are not so obvious. We've now reached the point of just staying quiet about the subject. I know I need to respect his concerns, but these people are friends and I'd like for them to be included in the celebration. Oh, what am I to do? I will probably make him take several people I'd rather not see off of his list of friends. I hate that that would be a compromise. It just seems spiteful and immature.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
House Hunt
Although Jeremy and I have decided to stick it out for another year in our current rental, we are eagerly searching for a house. I am hoping that we will have a solid lead, if not a home of our own, by this time next summer.
I have just witnessed too many things living here.
Yesterday, eight or nine teenage boys decided to set several items on the playground on fire, fueling the flames with a bottle of lighter fluid. While this was going on, I saw several drug deals. The cops weren't as helpful as they've been in the past.
A couple of nights ago, Jeremy and I looked out the sliding glass door to see police cruisers and a number of youths. It turns out there was some sort of fight stemming from a drug deal gone bad. At the end of the ordeal, at least four people were arrested and taken away.
The kids here are absolute pieces of shit. A group of African-American males dismantled the tables at the pavilion. These same kids scream obscenities at each other all hours of the day, which is not appreciated by me or any of the families who like to take their kids to the playground (or those who need to sleep). My next-door neighbor likes to have her family over, which is her prerogative, but all they do is scream (happy, angry...it doesn't matter).
I caught a kid touching Jeremy's car yesterday. I don't understand the total lack of respect for other's things. Well, maybe I do. I can understand that if all of your shit is a mess, then you probably resent those who do have nice things (even though you could, too, if you took care of your own stuff). He walked away quickly, and I haven't seen him touch it again.
I am just ready to enjoy my own space with, God-willing, a decent amount of land. I found the best possible deal today on a house built in 2005. It has almost everything Jeremy and I want. The location is exactly where we want. The catch? We don't have jobs in the Traverse City area. I doubt the house will be on the market long enough for us to wait it out another year.
Jeremy did go for a nice walk today in the 95-degree heat. It was actually pretty nice. I picked up fliers from several houses for sale in Canton. There were a couple in a decent neighborhood that offered some unique amenities. Maybe we will just get our "starter" house around here, and then save up for our dream house in Traverse City.
I have just witnessed too many things living here.
Yesterday, eight or nine teenage boys decided to set several items on the playground on fire, fueling the flames with a bottle of lighter fluid. While this was going on, I saw several drug deals. The cops weren't as helpful as they've been in the past.
A couple of nights ago, Jeremy and I looked out the sliding glass door to see police cruisers and a number of youths. It turns out there was some sort of fight stemming from a drug deal gone bad. At the end of the ordeal, at least four people were arrested and taken away.
The kids here are absolute pieces of shit. A group of African-American males dismantled the tables at the pavilion. These same kids scream obscenities at each other all hours of the day, which is not appreciated by me or any of the families who like to take their kids to the playground (or those who need to sleep). My next-door neighbor likes to have her family over, which is her prerogative, but all they do is scream (happy, angry...it doesn't matter).
I caught a kid touching Jeremy's car yesterday. I don't understand the total lack of respect for other's things. Well, maybe I do. I can understand that if all of your shit is a mess, then you probably resent those who do have nice things (even though you could, too, if you took care of your own stuff). He walked away quickly, and I haven't seen him touch it again.
I am just ready to enjoy my own space with, God-willing, a decent amount of land. I found the best possible deal today on a house built in 2005. It has almost everything Jeremy and I want. The location is exactly where we want. The catch? We don't have jobs in the Traverse City area. I doubt the house will be on the market long enough for us to wait it out another year.
Jeremy did go for a nice walk today in the 95-degree heat. It was actually pretty nice. I picked up fliers from several houses for sale in Canton. There were a couple in a decent neighborhood that offered some unique amenities. Maybe we will just get our "starter" house around here, and then save up for our dream house in Traverse City.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
a late night
I am home again from a late night of drinking. I didn't think I would return so late, but one must be open to that sort of thing when drinking.
It was a good night. I got giggly drunk fairly quickly. I continued drinking, but I managed to sober up around 2:30. I sat by my drinking partner's side while he left a memento of his experience in the flower box outside some shop. When I sobered up, I tried to convince him to let me drive him home. That was a no-go. I'm not quite sure why. Eventually, after some drunk calls to his buddy, he seemed to sober up. I followed him home and toured his new house.
I still find it incredible that people our age are settling into houses and neighborhoods. I know this is about that age, but I don't have a house - I assume everyone has my goals, my dreams, my expectations. I am nowhere near where I want to be when I "settle down".
...
It's 5:30...Dawson's Creek is on. I can't believe I am sitting around waiting for the sun to come up. I can't sleep...I am nowhere near needing sleep. I slept last night. I think I will clean the kitchen and fold the rest of my laundry. The thing is...I should probably pour myself a few glasses of wine, just to get this all moving along. I am a really dedicated housekeeper when intoxicated.
It was a good night. I got giggly drunk fairly quickly. I continued drinking, but I managed to sober up around 2:30. I sat by my drinking partner's side while he left a memento of his experience in the flower box outside some shop. When I sobered up, I tried to convince him to let me drive him home. That was a no-go. I'm not quite sure why. Eventually, after some drunk calls to his buddy, he seemed to sober up. I followed him home and toured his new house.
I still find it incredible that people our age are settling into houses and neighborhoods. I know this is about that age, but I don't have a house - I assume everyone has my goals, my dreams, my expectations. I am nowhere near where I want to be when I "settle down".
...
It's 5:30...Dawson's Creek is on. I can't believe I am sitting around waiting for the sun to come up. I can't sleep...I am nowhere near needing sleep. I slept last night. I think I will clean the kitchen and fold the rest of my laundry. The thing is...I should probably pour myself a few glasses of wine, just to get this all moving along. I am a really dedicated housekeeper when intoxicated.
Friday, July 27, 2007
visitors
I think two of my teenage cousins will be visiting this weekend. I should probably step up my efforts to clean up the pigsty that used to be my living room!
Now, I just need a new place for my teaching materials.
Now, I just need a new place for my teaching materials.
what we don't say
I felt brave enough to post something here a few minutes ago, but I decided to simply erase it. I haven't erased it from my mind, so I am certain you will all read it at some point. But, that time will be much, much later.
Why do we leave things unsaid? Am I alone in this? What am I so afraid of? What are some of the things you all wish you hadn't left unsaid?
Why do we leave things unsaid? Am I alone in this? What am I so afraid of? What are some of the things you all wish you hadn't left unsaid?
Monday, July 23, 2007
indoors
I thought I would get out and jog today, but I really wasn't up to it. I wasn't up for anything today, despite my cheery disposition and feeling healthy. I did open a few boxes that I had stored in my basement some time ago - I was surprised to find that there was yet another box of my writing. I thought I had compiled it all into two bins. Apparently, I have some other writings floating around here.
I organized a variety of teaching materials for my next curriculum planning session with Jesse. There really are teachers out there who inspire you to be a better teacher. He does this for me, and he says I do this for him. I think this year is going to be wonderful. I just have to find my inflatable palm tree to give to him. He is helping me with getting German stuff, and I am helping with his Bob Marley inspired design. I have so much stuff from teaching at the middle school that will be perfect for his room, which will be right next to mine!!! I've decided how I will set mine up, for the most part. I received my posters, flags, and other items from several companies. The next step is getting my cuckoo clock repaired so that I have an authentic German cuckoo clock in my room. I also want to unleash some of my creativity and create the "Rathskeller" feel with posts and sloping ceiling (there are several ways to accomplish this - I just have to see what I can afford, what is allowed, and how much time it will all take. I want my students to feel that they are in a very unique place that ties them to Germany. The hard part will be incorporating the English/Literature stuff, even though I've done that many times before. I don't have a lot of bookshelves or anything, but I do have some alternatives that will make the place very different from some of the other rooms in the school. I need to digitize my plan and post it at some point soon. Or, better yet, I will just do it, and then post photographs. I can win awards for stuff like that through several German teacher organizations. I want the money! I want to express myself artistically. I want to make my students feel like they are part of the culture.
Other thoughts...I think I will try to get to Munich for Oktoberfest. I am not a huge fan of crowds, but I think the beer will help. Plus, how could my school be upset with me if I took my two personal days for an authentic German experience? I would not promote drinking to my students or anything. Most of my students see me as a straight-laced homebody who does not have a life. If they only knew! There are a handful that I've kept in touch with who now see me as a friend, I suppose. I think in a year or so, when they turn 21, I may meet them at a bar/brewery in the Kalamazoo area. That would be a riot!
I am busy turning many of my work papers into Word files...and either PDF or JPEG files. I just don't want the clutter, and as long as I back them up in several places, I should be fine. I am still working on my stories, but I always create a hard copy of that stuff. Most teaching stuff can be duplicated or adapted from other teachers' stuff.
I organized a variety of teaching materials for my next curriculum planning session with Jesse. There really are teachers out there who inspire you to be a better teacher. He does this for me, and he says I do this for him. I think this year is going to be wonderful. I just have to find my inflatable palm tree to give to him. He is helping me with getting German stuff, and I am helping with his Bob Marley inspired design. I have so much stuff from teaching at the middle school that will be perfect for his room, which will be right next to mine!!! I've decided how I will set mine up, for the most part. I received my posters, flags, and other items from several companies. The next step is getting my cuckoo clock repaired so that I have an authentic German cuckoo clock in my room. I also want to unleash some of my creativity and create the "Rathskeller" feel with posts and sloping ceiling (there are several ways to accomplish this - I just have to see what I can afford, what is allowed, and how much time it will all take. I want my students to feel that they are in a very unique place that ties them to Germany. The hard part will be incorporating the English/Literature stuff, even though I've done that many times before. I don't have a lot of bookshelves or anything, but I do have some alternatives that will make the place very different from some of the other rooms in the school. I need to digitize my plan and post it at some point soon. Or, better yet, I will just do it, and then post photographs. I can win awards for stuff like that through several German teacher organizations. I want the money! I want to express myself artistically. I want to make my students feel like they are part of the culture.
Other thoughts...I think I will try to get to Munich for Oktoberfest. I am not a huge fan of crowds, but I think the beer will help. Plus, how could my school be upset with me if I took my two personal days for an authentic German experience? I would not promote drinking to my students or anything. Most of my students see me as a straight-laced homebody who does not have a life. If they only knew! There are a handful that I've kept in touch with who now see me as a friend, I suppose. I think in a year or so, when they turn 21, I may meet them at a bar/brewery in the Kalamazoo area. That would be a riot!
I am busy turning many of my work papers into Word files...and either PDF or JPEG files. I just don't want the clutter, and as long as I back them up in several places, I should be fine. I am still working on my stories, but I always create a hard copy of that stuff. Most teaching stuff can be duplicated or adapted from other teachers' stuff.
weekend update
Last night, Mike A. took me out to dinner in Ann Arbor. I am truly impressed with Cottage Inn Pizza. After dining, we walked around Ann Arbor. I took pictures of some of my favorite places. I just hope I find the USB cord so that I can upload my photos to MySpace (I realize I haven't been able to post any of my pictures from the past several months). After we walked a bit, we went to the Heidelberg for beer. It was a nice to end to a really nice weekend.
I hope to hear from Mike V. about hanging out on Tuesday. Summer is starting to narrow to the end, which will help keep me sane, I think. I just don't know what to do with myself when I have this much freedom from responsibility.
I have a concert on Wednesday, and then Jeremy will come home for a couple of days, only to leave again for a few days. Then, he will probably have about two weeks off, during which we will travel around and visit, view, research, and reserve a reception hall for our wedding next year.
I hope to hear from Mike V. about hanging out on Tuesday. Summer is starting to narrow to the end, which will help keep me sane, I think. I just don't know what to do with myself when I have this much freedom from responsibility.
I have a concert on Wednesday, and then Jeremy will come home for a couple of days, only to leave again for a few days. Then, he will probably have about two weeks off, during which we will travel around and visit, view, research, and reserve a reception hall for our wedding next year.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Discoveries and Ass Holes
I found Ass Hole's MySpace page. I had started looking through the links for high schools, as I've been trying to find my friend Donald. I couldn't remember which high school he went to in that particular city, so I started looking through all of them. Needless to say, I became a bit distracted when I happened to see Ass Hole's profile listing. I was actually in the middle of a really nice dialogue with someone in another window on MySpace, which I allowed to taper off.
The discovery changed my mood. I immediately felt that sinking feeling I used to feel sometimes - maybe you've felt something like it. It's like when you see something that startles you and your chest tightens and then you can't breathe in enough oxygen. I used to hyperventilate (Becky was always great during these episodes), but that did get better over time. The sensation moves low in one's belly and makes a little kick toward the spine. Then you feel that uneasiness that comes with moments like car accidents or injuries. For me, it usually is paired up with the a feeling of panic - the escapist searching for that 'flight' possibility.
I did look at his page - morbid curiosity got the best of me - and he now lives in a different state. I've been getting quite comfortable back in the Detroit area, but there was always a part of me that worried a little that I might run into him at some bar or another. Now I can rest assured that the probability of that is rather small.
While I emerged from that situation years ago unscathed - MOSTLY anyway - it still hits me from time to time that danger can lurk behind the facade of friendship. And although I could harbor anger and hatred toward this person, I don't. I can't go to that point and be thrilled that he is married and seems to have a good life, but I honestly don't want to spend my life wishing some other person ill will. I don't know if I've completely forgiven him in my mind - it's all just a bit too hazy, and I choose NOT to part the clouds and examine the issue. That is just how I am wired, but I can move forward with the wonderful things in my life. If I see him somewhere, I can simply tell him to 'walk away' as I had done when we had a class in common my senior year of college.
The situation did yield some interesting lessons. I learned about drunk frat boys/men and my own abilities when backed into a corner. Even when someone shows you evil or violence or whatever, one should at least find solace in the notion that they have witnessed it and can take care of him or herself appropriately. I am pretty sure he learned a thing or two, as well. At least I hope he did.
I wonder if his wife knows his secrets. I know of three women (myself included) who know who and what this man truly is/was...and what he thought he could try to get away with in college. Ass Hole + Massive quantities of alcohol + one caring designated driver/friend = disaster for the DD.
1. Never allow yourself to fall asleep if you are looking after someone who has been drinking.
2. Never watch someone alone - if the other people want to leave, make those people look after said person or come up with a new plan.
3. Take a self-defense course - you'll be glad you did. I am.
4. If something does happen - call the police immediately. Don't try to reason with the person after the fact - they won't remember it clearly anyway, and it will turn into 'He said/she said' scenario.
Even though the sinking feeling has dissipated, I don't think I will look for Donald tonight. I've had my fill of discoveries for the night.
The discovery changed my mood. I immediately felt that sinking feeling I used to feel sometimes - maybe you've felt something like it. It's like when you see something that startles you and your chest tightens and then you can't breathe in enough oxygen. I used to hyperventilate (Becky was always great during these episodes), but that did get better over time. The sensation moves low in one's belly and makes a little kick toward the spine. Then you feel that uneasiness that comes with moments like car accidents or injuries. For me, it usually is paired up with the a feeling of panic - the escapist searching for that 'flight' possibility.
I did look at his page - morbid curiosity got the best of me - and he now lives in a different state. I've been getting quite comfortable back in the Detroit area, but there was always a part of me that worried a little that I might run into him at some bar or another. Now I can rest assured that the probability of that is rather small.
While I emerged from that situation years ago unscathed - MOSTLY anyway - it still hits me from time to time that danger can lurk behind the facade of friendship. And although I could harbor anger and hatred toward this person, I don't. I can't go to that point and be thrilled that he is married and seems to have a good life, but I honestly don't want to spend my life wishing some other person ill will. I don't know if I've completely forgiven him in my mind - it's all just a bit too hazy, and I choose NOT to part the clouds and examine the issue. That is just how I am wired, but I can move forward with the wonderful things in my life. If I see him somewhere, I can simply tell him to 'walk away' as I had done when we had a class in common my senior year of college.
The situation did yield some interesting lessons. I learned about drunk frat boys/men and my own abilities when backed into a corner. Even when someone shows you evil or violence or whatever, one should at least find solace in the notion that they have witnessed it and can take care of him or herself appropriately. I am pretty sure he learned a thing or two, as well. At least I hope he did.
I wonder if his wife knows his secrets. I know of three women (myself included) who know who and what this man truly is/was...and what he thought he could try to get away with in college. Ass Hole + Massive quantities of alcohol + one caring designated driver/friend = disaster for the DD.
1. Never allow yourself to fall asleep if you are looking after someone who has been drinking.
2. Never watch someone alone - if the other people want to leave, make those people look after said person or come up with a new plan.
3. Take a self-defense course - you'll be glad you did. I am.
4. If something does happen - call the police immediately. Don't try to reason with the person after the fact - they won't remember it clearly anyway, and it will turn into 'He said/she said' scenario.
Even though the sinking feeling has dissipated, I don't think I will look for Donald tonight. I've had my fill of discoveries for the night.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
"...A pretty nice little Saturday..."
I had lunch with Joe today, which was lovely. It was nice to catch up and learn what we missed as the years rolled by. I considered making this a Frank the Tank sort of day with promises of a trip to Home Depot and Bed, Bath, & Beyond (if I had enough time), but I just don't know about that right now. I do need to get nails, hooks, and screws to hang several pictures in my townhouse, and I want to go look for a kitchen scale at BB&B.
Instead, I stopped to see my aunt and uncle in Canton. My uncles, dad, and cousin were busy reassembling the garage (they moved it further back and off to one side a bit to accommodate the new camper and vehicles). I visited with them for a while and found myself feeling comfortable yet distanced from these people.
I can still go to the store. I have basically missed the art fair - I was more interested in walking around Ann Arbor, which I can do tonight with friends or this coming week. I also want to do some photography, both digital AND film. I am feeling that artistic spark again. Is anyone interested in exploring with me? I would love the company, plus I could practice portraits (of course with an artsy slant).
At the moment, I've returned home to check email and waste time filling out surveys. I am waiting to hear back from several people. If you'd like to do something tonight, please call or email me.
Instead, I stopped to see my aunt and uncle in Canton. My uncles, dad, and cousin were busy reassembling the garage (they moved it further back and off to one side a bit to accommodate the new camper and vehicles). I visited with them for a while and found myself feeling comfortable yet distanced from these people.
I can still go to the store. I have basically missed the art fair - I was more interested in walking around Ann Arbor, which I can do tonight with friends or this coming week. I also want to do some photography, both digital AND film. I am feeling that artistic spark again. Is anyone interested in exploring with me? I would love the company, plus I could practice portraits (of course with an artsy slant).
At the moment, I've returned home to check email and waste time filling out surveys. I am waiting to hear back from several people. If you'd like to do something tonight, please call or email me.
Saturday morning thoughts
Thought #1
I have been oversleeping this week. This is completely out of the norm for me, as I usually don't sleep much. I went to Ann Arbor last night with Reenee and her boyfriend. We had a great time. I just want to go back today. The trouble is finding someone who will go with me - I really don't want to go alone. The crowd didn't bother me, which is nice. I tend to shy away from events like this because I can't handle being around so many people.I am still waiting to hear back from someone to see if he'd like to join me today.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #2
Even though he is an older man, Harvey Keitel is quite sexy. I had never noticed before.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #3
Yoga is doing wonders for my overactive mind. I can't remember a time when I felt this peaceful about everything.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #4
I want to take up knitting. I love repetitious hobbies, and some of my favorite scarves and sweaters were knitted by family and friends just for me. How nifty would I be if I could return the favor?
-----------------------------------------
Thought #5
One of my pieces, a (long) short story needs a bit more work. I need to form a writing group here so that I don't embarrass myself by sending it out to an agent when it still needs something. Any interested folks out there?
-----------------------------------------
Thought #6
I can't wait to decorate my classroom. I miss the regulated life of teaching. I miss taking classes (which I am certain will stress me out this fall). I will be teaching full time, taking a full-time load of graduate classes, helping with German Club and other activities(including tutoring), and probably finding a part-time job. When I am this busy, I am the best student - I made the undergrad Dean's list like this, and I've been a 4.0 graduate student at both WMU and BSU with this same sort of schedule. Now it's time to take that same intensity to my official (current) grad program.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #7
I miss Jeremy. I hate that he has to be away for so long this summer. On the other hand, when he is away, I drop weight like there's no tomorrow. I eat healthier, I exercise more, I find ways to fill my time with friends (you're all sick of me, I'm sure!).
-----------------------------------------
Thought #8
Maybe I will have my wedding and reception in Charlevoix - at Castle Farms. I don't think I need a castle, but hey, it's an option.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #9
I need to hang my pictures. Perhaps I will do that tomorrow. I can invite my parents over for lunch, and then they will help me line everything up properly. I do spend a lot of time with my family. It's hard to believe that I ever felt that I needed to 'escape'. Maybe it's a good thing I went away to college when I did. I don't think I would be as close to them as I am now if I had not done that.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #10
I may buy that slip cover for my couch today. This place needs something...it's a bit drab, and I am NOT a drab girl. I will then paint my end tables and the TV table black.
-----------------------------------------
I think I will limit myself to these ten, for the moment. There are so many more, but I could end up sitting at the computer the rest of the day. I'd rather go walking around Ann Arbor.
I have been oversleeping this week. This is completely out of the norm for me, as I usually don't sleep much. I went to Ann Arbor last night with Reenee and her boyfriend. We had a great time. I just want to go back today. The trouble is finding someone who will go with me - I really don't want to go alone. The crowd didn't bother me, which is nice. I tend to shy away from events like this because I can't handle being around so many people.I am still waiting to hear back from someone to see if he'd like to join me today.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #2
Even though he is an older man, Harvey Keitel is quite sexy. I had never noticed before.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #3
Yoga is doing wonders for my overactive mind. I can't remember a time when I felt this peaceful about everything.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #4
I want to take up knitting. I love repetitious hobbies, and some of my favorite scarves and sweaters were knitted by family and friends just for me. How nifty would I be if I could return the favor?
-----------------------------------------
Thought #5
One of my pieces, a (long) short story needs a bit more work. I need to form a writing group here so that I don't embarrass myself by sending it out to an agent when it still needs something. Any interested folks out there?
-----------------------------------------
Thought #6
I can't wait to decorate my classroom. I miss the regulated life of teaching. I miss taking classes (which I am certain will stress me out this fall). I will be teaching full time, taking a full-time load of graduate classes, helping with German Club and other activities(including tutoring), and probably finding a part-time job. When I am this busy, I am the best student - I made the undergrad Dean's list like this, and I've been a 4.0 graduate student at both WMU and BSU with this same sort of schedule. Now it's time to take that same intensity to my official (current) grad program.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #7
I miss Jeremy. I hate that he has to be away for so long this summer. On the other hand, when he is away, I drop weight like there's no tomorrow. I eat healthier, I exercise more, I find ways to fill my time with friends (you're all sick of me, I'm sure!).
-----------------------------------------
Thought #8
Maybe I will have my wedding and reception in Charlevoix - at Castle Farms. I don't think I need a castle, but hey, it's an option.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #9
I need to hang my pictures. Perhaps I will do that tomorrow. I can invite my parents over for lunch, and then they will help me line everything up properly. I do spend a lot of time with my family. It's hard to believe that I ever felt that I needed to 'escape'. Maybe it's a good thing I went away to college when I did. I don't think I would be as close to them as I am now if I had not done that.
-----------------------------------------
Thought #10
I may buy that slip cover for my couch today. This place needs something...it's a bit drab, and I am NOT a drab girl. I will then paint my end tables and the TV table black.
-----------------------------------------
I think I will limit myself to these ten, for the moment. There are so many more, but I could end up sitting at the computer the rest of the day. I'd rather go walking around Ann Arbor.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Has it really been this long?
I just looked at the date of my last post. OMG! Has it really been that long?
I haven't been up to much, but I am anticipating some good times are about to roll again. Mike A. visited on Tuesday...I did well at my concert on Wednesday, although it was nothing special. Then I went to BW3 with Mike A. and Mike V. MV and I hit a couple of bars in Plymouth afterward. I was drunk, AS USUAL. It's strange to feel that pull toward intoxication being your "normal" frame of mind when out with certain friends (thank you, MV, for remaining sober and driving!!!). I was able to put that in check when I lived in Florida, but here, I am embracing the freedom that summer vacation brings.
I had to drop Jeremy off at the airport Wednesday afternoon, which was a little depressing, but I understand that this is how the industry works.
This weekend is Teresa's birthday; I just need to figure out which day she asked about taking a canoe down a river. (Isn't that a unique way to spend your birthday?) I have been asked to join someone for lunch, and I need to make sure I wouldn't be double-booking the day. Plus, my mother has been a bit focused on "bringing the family closer" since we've had a few deaths in the family recently, most notably and most recently my Uncle Bill. So, I have to almost clear my plans with her before committing to others. How weird parents can be...
Anyway, back to my previous thought, September and October don't really offer the same opportunities, although a hay ride or something might be a different change of pace (hint-hint, Jeremy). My birthday these last five years have been downright depressing. One year, I helped Jeremy move. Another year, no one called me until after 10 PM to wish me a "great day" (I had already had a bottle of wine alone and had decided to go to bed early). Last year, my mother bought my sister's favorite cake and then bought a gift that was too small (and, when pointed out, she said, "Oh, I didn't think you were that fat that you would need a bigger size!"). I think I could go for a nice middle-of-the-road mediocre birthday, at least. One with a cake (that I actually might eat) and gifts that suit me.
I haven't been up to much, but I am anticipating some good times are about to roll again. Mike A. visited on Tuesday...I did well at my concert on Wednesday, although it was nothing special. Then I went to BW3 with Mike A. and Mike V. MV and I hit a couple of bars in Plymouth afterward. I was drunk, AS USUAL. It's strange to feel that pull toward intoxication being your "normal" frame of mind when out with certain friends (thank you, MV, for remaining sober and driving!!!). I was able to put that in check when I lived in Florida, but here, I am embracing the freedom that summer vacation brings.
I had to drop Jeremy off at the airport Wednesday afternoon, which was a little depressing, but I understand that this is how the industry works.
This weekend is Teresa's birthday; I just need to figure out which day she asked about taking a canoe down a river. (Isn't that a unique way to spend your birthday?) I have been asked to join someone for lunch, and I need to make sure I wouldn't be double-booking the day. Plus, my mother has been a bit focused on "bringing the family closer" since we've had a few deaths in the family recently, most notably and most recently my Uncle Bill. So, I have to almost clear my plans with her before committing to others. How weird parents can be...
Anyway, back to my previous thought, September and October don't really offer the same opportunities, although a hay ride or something might be a different change of pace (hint-hint, Jeremy). My birthday these last five years have been downright depressing. One year, I helped Jeremy move. Another year, no one called me until after 10 PM to wish me a "great day" (I had already had a bottle of wine alone and had decided to go to bed early). Last year, my mother bought my sister's favorite cake and then bought a gift that was too small (and, when pointed out, she said, "Oh, I didn't think you were that fat that you would need a bigger size!"). I think I could go for a nice middle-of-the-road mediocre birthday, at least. One with a cake (that I actually might eat) and gifts that suit me.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Jogging = Equilibrium
I went for a jog tonight - it really cleared my head. I only made it three quarters of a mile before I had to just walk for a while, but that is definitely progress! My knee is not hurting at all, either (I've been taking glucosamine tablets for the past week). I had forgotten how balanced I used to feel when I exercised like this. I just have to keep this up!
I would love to find someone to walk with around here. James, if you find yourself lonely on your walks, please stop by. I'd love to walk and talk.
I would love to find someone to walk with around here. James, if you find yourself lonely on your walks, please stop by. I'd love to walk and talk.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The Heidelberg and other completely disjointed ideas
I recently learned that The Heidelberg in Ann Arbor is quite a venue. Club upstairs, nice restaurant on the main floor, and a traditional Rathskeller downstairs. They serve beer in a 3-liter glass boot!
I was going to attend the Ann Arbor Poetry Slam tonight, but I decided it might be good to stay in and organize my spare room (I rearranged the furniture so that I can set up ALL of my instruments). There's always the next one - the last Tuesday of July. Perhaps someone who reads this is interested in going with me. If so, please just comment, and I may be able to accommodate. I think I am more interested in the Rathskeller, to be honest. I still enjoy poetry readings and poetry slams (I should invite James D. to the next one, too).
As far as my spare room goes, I am in the process of collecting several bins of items to sell and donate. I think Jeremy will be shocked at the sparse look. I am tired of being tied to all of this junk. Welcome back that part of me that could be and leave all worldly possessions behind and travel the world (now, I have flight benefits, so this is KIND OF possible).
I spoke to Jesse today - next year, he will have the classroom right next to mine!!! He and I are planning to set up the 12th grade English curriculum within the next month - with the other English 12 teacher (complete with common consequences and procedures). He is one of the most creative and energetic people I know, and he says the same of me. What an awesome friend he has become! We will have a solid senior English program next year. He is even helping me to procure more German items (as I will also be teaching German 1 again). He will be leaving for Germany in a couple of weeks to stay with some friends, and he plans to bring me back a bunch of stuff to use for classroom decor. Meanwhile, I am helping him to find items that will go well with his theme - I've already told him he can use my inflatable palm tree and a box of other similar items. Hell, I can even pass along some of my more exotic plants, namely small tropical trees, when the weather changes and I have to bring them inside. I am really looking forward to this upcoming year.
As far as German planning, if I use the same items from this year, I am set. However, I want to introduce a much more student-centered and student-run approach that will follow the immersion format a little more closely than what my mentor has done, although I will use just about everything I did last year. I've already created my prototypes of documents and charts, complete with games and cultural activities (perhaps I will fly into Germany soon and spend some time learning drinking songs - it truly is a possibility now! I'm just waiting for my nice new passport.).
MV is recording more music. I'll have to get my hands on this CD, as well. Maybe soon he'll find himself a career in it and talk about when he "used to be an English teacher". More on that as times goes on.
I've finished several short stories recently, which feels really great. One has turned into something larger, but I am not sure how far it will go. Perhaps at some point soon I will share these writings with the world. They still seem too fragile yet. I am eagerly awaiting the poetry anthology that has another published piece within it. I know these things are mostly scams - but I chose this one because of the focus on education and its usefulness in my writing classroom. I find their purpose to be a good one, so I consider it a win-win. I am published, I paid my little fee for a book (there's no entry fee), and that money will hopefully go toward a student scholarship or contest award.
Other things...I need to hurry up and become active in the American Association of Teacher of German. They offer MANY opportunities for teachers to go to classes in Germany and travel throughout Europe on THEIR dime (well, my dime, as I have to pay dues). They also have some fairly substantial scholarships and awards for students.
I am also looking into the Student Ambassador program. I'd get to travel all over the world as a chaperone. This could be great for the summer or extended vacations. I don't mind keeping an eye on kids, and I want to travel. I'm sure I could find endless inspiration.
I found a very interesting (and FREE) site to track my fitness progress. I wish I were in the financial shape to hire people to show up and prepare food and scream at me like a drill sergeant to get my ass in shape, but seeing as I am not, I will have to make due. I think I will be able to get this going. I am walking and doing yoga already; the jogging is taking a toll on my knee, so I will have to cut back on that for now - just till I am in better shape, I suppose.
I feel like I have ADD today. It's time to get back to the spare room. My break is over, and I've still got a lot to do.
I was going to attend the Ann Arbor Poetry Slam tonight, but I decided it might be good to stay in and organize my spare room (I rearranged the furniture so that I can set up ALL of my instruments). There's always the next one - the last Tuesday of July. Perhaps someone who reads this is interested in going with me. If so, please just comment, and I may be able to accommodate. I think I am more interested in the Rathskeller, to be honest. I still enjoy poetry readings and poetry slams (I should invite James D. to the next one, too).
As far as my spare room goes, I am in the process of collecting several bins of items to sell and donate. I think Jeremy will be shocked at the sparse look. I am tired of being tied to all of this junk. Welcome back that part of me that could be and leave all worldly possessions behind and travel the world (now, I have flight benefits, so this is KIND OF possible).
I spoke to Jesse today - next year, he will have the classroom right next to mine!!! He and I are planning to set up the 12th grade English curriculum within the next month - with the other English 12 teacher (complete with common consequences and procedures). He is one of the most creative and energetic people I know, and he says the same of me. What an awesome friend he has become! We will have a solid senior English program next year. He is even helping me to procure more German items (as I will also be teaching German 1 again). He will be leaving for Germany in a couple of weeks to stay with some friends, and he plans to bring me back a bunch of stuff to use for classroom decor. Meanwhile, I am helping him to find items that will go well with his theme - I've already told him he can use my inflatable palm tree and a box of other similar items. Hell, I can even pass along some of my more exotic plants, namely small tropical trees, when the weather changes and I have to bring them inside. I am really looking forward to this upcoming year.
As far as German planning, if I use the same items from this year, I am set. However, I want to introduce a much more student-centered and student-run approach that will follow the immersion format a little more closely than what my mentor has done, although I will use just about everything I did last year. I've already created my prototypes of documents and charts, complete with games and cultural activities (perhaps I will fly into Germany soon and spend some time learning drinking songs - it truly is a possibility now! I'm just waiting for my nice new passport.).
MV is recording more music. I'll have to get my hands on this CD, as well. Maybe soon he'll find himself a career in it and talk about when he "used to be an English teacher". More on that as times goes on.
I've finished several short stories recently, which feels really great. One has turned into something larger, but I am not sure how far it will go. Perhaps at some point soon I will share these writings with the world. They still seem too fragile yet. I am eagerly awaiting the poetry anthology that has another published piece within it. I know these things are mostly scams - but I chose this one because of the focus on education and its usefulness in my writing classroom. I find their purpose to be a good one, so I consider it a win-win. I am published, I paid my little fee for a book (there's no entry fee), and that money will hopefully go toward a student scholarship or contest award.
Other things...I need to hurry up and become active in the American Association of Teacher of German. They offer MANY opportunities for teachers to go to classes in Germany and travel throughout Europe on THEIR dime (well, my dime, as I have to pay dues). They also have some fairly substantial scholarships and awards for students.
I am also looking into the Student Ambassador program. I'd get to travel all over the world as a chaperone. This could be great for the summer or extended vacations. I don't mind keeping an eye on kids, and I want to travel. I'm sure I could find endless inspiration.
I found a very interesting (and FREE) site to track my fitness progress. I wish I were in the financial shape to hire people to show up and prepare food and scream at me like a drill sergeant to get my ass in shape, but seeing as I am not, I will have to make due. I think I will be able to get this going. I am walking and doing yoga already; the jogging is taking a toll on my knee, so I will have to cut back on that for now - just till I am in better shape, I suppose.
I feel like I have ADD today. It's time to get back to the spare room. My break is over, and I've still got a lot to do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)