On Friday, I celebrated my 30th birthday. I toyed with ideas for far longer than I should have, but I settled on a nice dinner and drinks night out with friends and family. This event really allowed me to see who is and who is not currently my friend because it is sometimes difficult to gauge when I have so many people I interact with online on Facebook.
I have noticed some people trailing off in their own directions. These are people who used to be deeply involved in my life. Unfortunately, they either don't care or don't have the time to even wish me well on my birthday. I suppose birthdays (especially those of significance) just make things clearer. I'm not upset about it at all, though. It's just the way social groups work. The dynamic of any group changes over time.
The majority of people who showed up are my newer friends, friends from fun evenings out. Friends from the music scene. Friends who have spent a great deal of time trying to get to know who I am now rather than who I used to be. Even my cousin and his wife see who I am now and commented on how much happier I seem. My cousin is my age, and we grew up visiting often. I know about his struggles with married life (not that there are a lot to speak of), and he knows about all of the issues I faced in my own relationships. The last few years have been more distant because it's not easy to find time to visit...or, rather, we don't make the effort our parents did when we were younger. This is something to fix because we've always been close, and I hate that I don't feel as close anymore. I think I needed to fix a lot within myself, though, which is happening.
Some of the others who showed up are very recent friends. When I was seeing Tony last year, I became friends with his friends. This wasn't a shock to me, but it surprises me that they are still my friends. Tony was even surprised that a one, in particular, showed up to my celebration because he rarely even shows up for Tony's events.
It's wonderful to feel as though I'm not an obligation because I am connected to someone else.
A few friends brought cards and small gifts. It was totally unnecessary and very sweet of them. I need to send thank-yous. Autumn made me a card and there was no profanity on it...I handed it to her and told her that it was missing her creative input. She promptly added the F-word inside.
I can't tell if my parents are happy or sad to see that I am now the practical daughter again. When I was most depressed, I asked for more extravagant things. It was nice to ask for a ladder and hear them chuckle at my down-to-earth, I-need-this gift idea. I also suggested a cheap electric weed-whipper for my tiny backyard. As I told them, I am trying to eliminate the years of dysfunction that has taken over everything, and that includes purging clothing, toys, books, trinkets, papers, etc. from my home. Perhaps next year, I should have a birthday give-away event in which my friends and family will select tagged items in my home and remove them for free.
My birthday celebration guests (Mom, Dad, Autumn, Christine, Uncle Gary, Aunt Sandy, Terri, John, Flavia, Theodore, Marco, Simmi, Rob M., Monica, and Tony) bought me dinner and drinks. At the end, Tony and Theodore seemed to be waiting each other out for the fictitious title of Last Guest Partying.
All-in-all, I had a good birthday. My students were well-behaved on Friday (as they usually are), and getting dolled up in a fancy silver and black dress, new shoes, and newer jewelry to head out for a night made it a wonderful day.
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