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Psychology is fascinating. I have been reading through all sorts of theory, mostly to understand some of the issues my students face. I am also learning about myself.

I am wired in such a way that I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. These tendencies have not really caused any hiccups in my normal function throughout the day, so I tend to disregard them. I really shouldn't be doing that.
I know when and how it started - when I lived with Erin in the dorm. I will not post that situation here, I'm afraid. I don't think Erin would appreciate her issues being broadcast.

Instead of seeking help for my own growing dysfunction, I treated it as a positive. I had spent so long being a slob that it felt good to finally clean up a little. Now, it really does lean toward obsession. I catch myself daydreaming about cleaning. I have started to worry about the build-up of dust. I tried to take a nap today, but found myself feeling anxious about the possibility of dust on the surfaces I cleaned yesterday. Then I started thinking about how the cats might have jumped up and put their grimy little paws on my nice clean stuff. I had to get up and check. I did this several times before accepting that everything is okay. That's when I read more information on this type of disorder.

I am distracting myself with exercise, which is positive. I've been eating healthy foods for some time. I've been riding my stationary bike, walking, doing yoga, doing ballet stretches (which still hurt like hell, but it's a good pain). I would like to join a gym, but money is an issue. I also would like to find a dance club that offers free dance lessons, etc. and someone to go with me. I do miss that part of Florida. I used to go salsa dancing every Wednesday night with friends and colleagues, hip hop at the bars on Fridays and Saturdays. I'd love to learn how to ballroom dance. I'm just not that graceful, though.

Another very helpful activity that I've been exploring again is meditation. I used to meditate every day. Now it's only around 2 - 3 per week, but that is progress. I am much more rational. I allow myself to feel mellow. I try not to get stressed about work. I have 270 students split up throughout 21 different classes. It's really not that bad. It's somewhat hectic when I have to compile all of their work for the guidance department, but overall, it's do-able.

I am saving money for my move this summer, as well as for grad school next fall. I don't know if I will have a teaching position, so I need to bank as much money as possible. I am actually quite good with money management; I just want to be able to save even more. If I could just dream the winning numbers for the lottery.