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I woke today feeling energized. I was going to tackle the world today, but an early afternoon nap totally changed that. I did make it to the library to pick up some study guides for German.

I am realizing that the position I've been offered may not be the best for me. I know I can teach. I just don't really have passion for the German language or culture. I don't see myself being happy in the job. I am hoping for something else to come up - I know that is terrible of me, but I want to feel passionate about my job. I love writing and literature - the kids pick up on that, and it helps to make them want to learn more.

I signed up for the certification test in July, though, and I hope that all of my studying and revisiting my work from the past will stir something. The principal knows that I do not want to teach German, but he said that the job will change over the years.

I feel as though I am giving something up, even though I would still get to teach English. This job would be a compromise for where Jeremy and I want and need live, what I want to teach, income needs, and satisfying my own personal academic goals with grad work.

I am tired of compromising. I'M NOT MARRIED! I DON'T HAVE KIDS. I AM A COMPETETENT AND SKILLED TEACHER. I HAVE SOME PRETTY PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOLS LOOKING TO RECRUIT ME. Why should I have to limit myself to make Jeremy's life easier?

You know what? It's been six years. If he wants me to keep supporting him the way I do and the way I've done in the past, he has to anty up. I'm not his wife. I refuse to give up on what I want. And I'm sick of waiting.