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Jeremy drove out Friday evening and left Sunday evening. I regret that I was simply exhausted the entire weekend - it's amazing how stress can overload one's system. We cuddled and napped a lot, which was actually something I needed. We haven't had much time to do anything like that these past few months. We did go for a short walk around my neighborhood. I showed him the civil war era cemetery where I usually pause during my evening strolls.

My anxiety regarding my relationship, I've discovered, is actually a fear that I won't be able to quickly adjust to living with him again. I don't like change. In fact, I will go out of my way to avoid it in most cases. We have a system worked out with our schedules to stay in contact. I am finally comfortable with the system we have going - calls before bedtime and visits whenever possible on the weekends. I am aware that this probably doesn't seem like a fulfilling relationship, but it really is. I am incredibly independent. I like having the freedom to just exist in my own little world. On the other hand, Jeremy and I love each other and are great friends. He is the one person I can never get enough of. He makes me laugh. We find the same things hilarious and interesting. We rarely lack a conversation topic. He is a really sweet guy, despite picking up pilot behaviors from his colleagues. He is goal driven and wants to start his own business combining his background in public safety and aviation with his love of the maritime tradition.

I should write more positive entries. Maybe I shouldn't wait until 3:30 AM to write them. Who cares, though? Friday was my last school day for the year. It's summer vacation. I've already had one job offer. I have two application packets to send back in to other districts. I have another interview later this month, and I should hear from the prep school in the afternoon or Tuesday. The only reason I haven't gone in to sign paperwork for the one offer is that I am trying to negotiate a higher salary based on my other offers. I want the best possible deal - I need to find out more about tuition reimbursment, etc. for my master's.